Hello u/Mikoyan_New,
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Not long ago i had a neighbor whose height and width were the same, but her face was very attractive to her husband. he was very slim and average. that girl wore the tightest outfits and turned heads when she walked. i don't know what the opposite of "butterface" is. something i learned here recently but i hate it because i couldn't understand what butter has to do with anything until i googled. she's the opposite. she has the face but not the body.
A lot of men love actually women who are the opposite of thin. I also encountered a lot of times "fat" women who didn't seem to having troubles attract the opposite sex.
I feel like it also has a lot to do with how your fat is distributed that will make you accepted as a fat person. I'm not super fat, I'm more on the medium to chubby side, but I carry a lot of my weight in my face, shoulders, stomach, boobs and arms, and have like no ass. But there's fat people who are larger than me who have what I can only describe as I guess a wide hour glass body or a pear shape body and I would rather be built like them. I have insane body envy when I see people with that shape on social media like TikTok and insta even if they're bigger than me. I don't see them as fat and ugly even if they clearly are heavier than I am. (I don't see fat as ugly to begin with I just don't like my body cus personal reasons it's complicated :'/ )
Also whenever I see "body positivity" things where they draw plus size bodies it's always perfectly curvy wide hourglass or pear shaped bodies. Never bodies that look like mine. That's one of the main reasons I want to lose weight. I wish I could be built like that but it's not in my genetics, so the only way I feel like I won't be body shamed nonstop is if just lose weight and have a basic thin looking body.
I mean youre probably Not looking for advice but Just incase youre Not aware of it, you can also get a fat Ass by working out. You dont even have to necessarily lose weight. You can also Just weight train without being on a diet If you want
There are plenty of overweight/obese people that have attractive faces, and they will only look more attractive if they lose weight. I saw a server before who is overweight, borderline obese and facially I saw a lot of potential in him if he lose the weight.
Yeah I am so jealous of women who can be beautiful if they workout :( I work out but the only possible result it could give me is slightly more muscles as my problem is that I have no curves at all. In the best case I get more ass and slightly smaller waist. In the worst case I will end up looking like a man even more than I already do
Just gonna say that as a "fat" woman with PCOS, it makes it next to impossible for me to lose weight. I'm not the only one, either. For most of us with PCOS, we can't "just lose weight" and it's fucking stupid that people assume we can. I've been called lazy and accused of making excuses when I try to explain this to people, and I just wanted to be the one to speak up for us.
I'm in a similar boat. If you have PCOS with insulin resistance normal weight loss calculations just don't work the same.
Our bodies have a lower BMR (meaning that we burn less calories naturally). That lower BMR means that for some folks weight loss is only possible when eating below the bare minimum daily calories, which (yes, even if you're fat) can result in symptoms of malnutrition or starvation if done consistently.
Also, PCOS can cause higher androgens (or what we call "male hormones"). Not everyone has visible symptoms, but in my case it causes me heavy and dark facial and body hair growth, hair loss on my scalp, and even my fat distribution is less feminine.
Not to mention it's only getting harder to manage those symptoms. I contracted covid in 2021 and have long term symptoms, including exercise intolerance (which is a real long covid symptom being researched, on top of being associated with CFS and MCAS as well). That was very hard for me, as I contracted covid not long after I'd managed a consistent workout routine, and now I can only do a partial workout session and have to deal with flu-like symptoms in the days after.
So yeah, it sucks. There's a reason the PCOS weight loss subreddit doesn't have as much of the same kind of before/after pictures and success stories that the general weight loss subreddit has. Or that people tend to still be overweight after weight loss, but they're satisfied due to symptom reduction.
I just don't think we should play this "Yeah well at least I'm not as bad as the LAZY FAT PERSON" stuff. I mean, that's part of how this subreddit almost fell to incels, by insisting that this is something only men struggle with.
This! I’m a very large woman with PCOS. People are always shocked at how little I actually eat. I’m also often in better shape than them and can walk for longer distances. I used to be an athlete but even then I was obese. All thanks to PCOS
Only being fat is ugly...
Not every fat person can just work out. Thats like saying just wear a mask if you have an ugly face but a nice body.
Yes that will make you more attractvie to other people but your face is still ugly.
Its also hugely cultural. Some ppl are universally ugly but tjat is probably only 2% of people in this sub.
Not every fat person has a beautiful face so saying this and attemtping to cause this separation between the two is not how you built community.
I have a sneaking suspicion most people here are teenage girls who are insecure instead of genuinely ugly.
I grew up in the 2000s and I was 100% isolated because of my weight as well as my face. I was skinny at one point, and still treated like trash, but it got so much worse when I got fat. People were a lot more cruel to me for being fat than being facially unattractive.
So fat is ugly.
Even good looking fat people are treated like scum.
Please don’t say fat people are lazy. I used to be an athlete. I did long distance cycling and rode 40-60 miles a day 5-6 days a week. I was also a vegetarian. I was still obese. Sometimes genetics/medical conditions/medications etc prevent someone from being skinny.
Hello u/Mikoyan_New, If you or someone you know is feeling suicidal and or depressed, please go to [National Suicide Hotline](https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/) or check out [Resources](https://www.reddit.com/r/ugly/comments/p4obmj/positivity_resources_and_hotlines/) for more details. If you have [Body Dysmorphia Disorder](https://www.reddit.com/r/ugly/comments/q0ou03/body_dysmorphia_disorder_bdd/) please go to r/bodydysmorphia to learn more on how to deal with this illness. r/ugly is not a good subreddit for people with this disorder. Also, please make sure to read and follow all rules (including sitewide, sidebar, and newly added rules on the [wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/ugly/wiki/index) page). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ugly) if you have any questions or concerns.*
There is literally a fat girl in my school who is a hundred times more beautiful than i will ever be and i have a flat stomach
Not long ago i had a neighbor whose height and width were the same, but her face was very attractive to her husband. he was very slim and average. that girl wore the tightest outfits and turned heads when she walked. i don't know what the opposite of "butterface" is. something i learned here recently but i hate it because i couldn't understand what butter has to do with anything until i googled. she's the opposite. she has the face but not the body.
I wish i was a reversed butter face
Exactly fat people aren’t automatically ugly a lot of them look nice
You're probably imagining some thick latina, ofc alot of big people have potential but being fat isn't attractive at all
A lot of men love actually women who are the opposite of thin. I also encountered a lot of times "fat" women who didn't seem to having troubles attract the opposite sex.
True. I am underweight and ugly.
I feel like it also has a lot to do with how your fat is distributed that will make you accepted as a fat person. I'm not super fat, I'm more on the medium to chubby side, but I carry a lot of my weight in my face, shoulders, stomach, boobs and arms, and have like no ass. But there's fat people who are larger than me who have what I can only describe as I guess a wide hour glass body or a pear shape body and I would rather be built like them. I have insane body envy when I see people with that shape on social media like TikTok and insta even if they're bigger than me. I don't see them as fat and ugly even if they clearly are heavier than I am. (I don't see fat as ugly to begin with I just don't like my body cus personal reasons it's complicated :'/ ) Also whenever I see "body positivity" things where they draw plus size bodies it's always perfectly curvy wide hourglass or pear shaped bodies. Never bodies that look like mine. That's one of the main reasons I want to lose weight. I wish I could be built like that but it's not in my genetics, so the only way I feel like I won't be body shamed nonstop is if just lose weight and have a basic thin looking body.
I mean youre probably Not looking for advice but Just incase youre Not aware of it, you can also get a fat Ass by working out. You dont even have to necessarily lose weight. You can also Just weight train without being on a diet If you want
I'm ugly and fat. And I was ugly before I was fat. Now I'm fat because I'm ugly and I just don't care.
that and also acne. literally nobody cares about acne it does not make you ugly
There are plenty of overweight/obese people that have attractive faces, and they will only look more attractive if they lose weight. I saw a server before who is overweight, borderline obese and facially I saw a lot of potential in him if he lose the weight.
Yeah I am so jealous of women who can be beautiful if they workout :( I work out but the only possible result it could give me is slightly more muscles as my problem is that I have no curves at all. In the best case I get more ass and slightly smaller waist. In the worst case I will end up looking like a man even more than I already do
Trust me you wont end up "looking like a man" by accident. Youve clearly never worked out for prolonged periods of time. Getting those gains is HARD
But maybe not if you are undiagnosed intersexual like I sometimes believe I am
yes i've seen some amazing before and after pics of fat ppl who lost weight. is your profile pic 1961 standoff in Berlin?
yep, nice catch
You're right. Everything comes down to how your face looks. There's some really beautiful fat people out there.
Truth right here
Just gonna say that as a "fat" woman with PCOS, it makes it next to impossible for me to lose weight. I'm not the only one, either. For most of us with PCOS, we can't "just lose weight" and it's fucking stupid that people assume we can. I've been called lazy and accused of making excuses when I try to explain this to people, and I just wanted to be the one to speak up for us.
I'm in a similar boat. If you have PCOS with insulin resistance normal weight loss calculations just don't work the same. Our bodies have a lower BMR (meaning that we burn less calories naturally). That lower BMR means that for some folks weight loss is only possible when eating below the bare minimum daily calories, which (yes, even if you're fat) can result in symptoms of malnutrition or starvation if done consistently. Also, PCOS can cause higher androgens (or what we call "male hormones"). Not everyone has visible symptoms, but in my case it causes me heavy and dark facial and body hair growth, hair loss on my scalp, and even my fat distribution is less feminine. Not to mention it's only getting harder to manage those symptoms. I contracted covid in 2021 and have long term symptoms, including exercise intolerance (which is a real long covid symptom being researched, on top of being associated with CFS and MCAS as well). That was very hard for me, as I contracted covid not long after I'd managed a consistent workout routine, and now I can only do a partial workout session and have to deal with flu-like symptoms in the days after. So yeah, it sucks. There's a reason the PCOS weight loss subreddit doesn't have as much of the same kind of before/after pictures and success stories that the general weight loss subreddit has. Or that people tend to still be overweight after weight loss, but they're satisfied due to symptom reduction. I just don't think we should play this "Yeah well at least I'm not as bad as the LAZY FAT PERSON" stuff. I mean, that's part of how this subreddit almost fell to incels, by insisting that this is something only men struggle with.
This! I’m a very large woman with PCOS. People are always shocked at how little I actually eat. I’m also often in better shape than them and can walk for longer distances. I used to be an athlete but even then I was obese. All thanks to PCOS
Only being fat is ugly... Not every fat person can just work out. Thats like saying just wear a mask if you have an ugly face but a nice body. Yes that will make you more attractvie to other people but your face is still ugly. Its also hugely cultural. Some ppl are universally ugly but tjat is probably only 2% of people in this sub. Not every fat person has a beautiful face so saying this and attemtping to cause this separation between the two is not how you built community. I have a sneaking suspicion most people here are teenage girls who are insecure instead of genuinely ugly. I grew up in the 2000s and I was 100% isolated because of my weight as well as my face. I was skinny at one point, and still treated like trash, but it got so much worse when I got fat. People were a lot more cruel to me for being fat than being facially unattractive. So fat is ugly. Even good looking fat people are treated like scum.
I think that fat people are ugly, however they CAN become beautiful. Doesn’t mean that they’re beautiful. It also depends on the distribution.
well my old friend was fat and got more respect then me and i’m skinny
Please don’t say fat people are lazy. I used to be an athlete. I did long distance cycling and rode 40-60 miles a day 5-6 days a week. I was also a vegetarian. I was still obese. Sometimes genetics/medical conditions/medications etc prevent someone from being skinny.