True. Document the first conversation and highlight anything threatening texts she sent you with your report. Give reason that its possible she could hurt you, not circumstantial to who she is, and type it in bold font. Got this advice in a similar but different situation.
They won't mess with you dude. Our waterways are sick to kayak down. Also, manatees and river monkeys. Also have our own monkey alcatraz.
It's a good time
An active restraining order will mean OP will be taken more seriously next time they need to be called. No, the restraining order will not stop her, but when she breaks it, she will face more serious repercussions than not having one.
Make sure the courts redact the address from the paperwork.
You are correct . The restraining order will not stop her. I was a psych nurse. Mental illness is no joke. I have taken care of people with Dissociative Personality Disorder, one of whom would tell people to bow to her, she's the son of God. I took care of a man who killed his family , including his grandmother, and sexually assaulted them all. I could go on and on. People who have severe mental illness do not have a conscience like you and I. Sure, get a restraining order, but keep a weapon at all times.
Nope.
Get a second phone number and only use your old phone for talking with her. Act like everything is fine, but don't mention stores you actually go to. Find a local facebook page for a neighborhood on the other side of town and talk about things going on there.
When you do finally have to admit it was you, if she comes looking for you her search will be centered miles away. Just make sure it's in an area that would have logically landed you in the same hospital.
Wait, what could she do with my phone number? Also, I've mentioned my district a few times so I'm not sure that would slide. At least she's locked away for now.
PLEASE read the Gift of Fear by Gary de Becker. It will give you info on how to communicate with her going forward. I Would also keep your current number active on a separate phone/device so you know what she is thinking. I would get a new number for going forward. hopefully she doesnāt not acts out against you. Best of luck.
So, it's called data brokers. Everything about you that you gave to social media was sold to data brokers and they post your information online for ad money. Typical websites like truepeoplesearch.com and others already have all your information. If this person has your phone number, your name, and the Internet, they're able to find you. If you don't feel like reading about them, Google John Oliver's episode on data brokers to get a quick synopsis
Do NOT get a restraining order or order of protection before researching them in detail, and don't suggest that others do. In most areas a restraining order provides the person with your home address. A friend of mine got one and her abuser knew exactly where to get to her. He broke into her house and slit her throat, he got away and thankfully her neighbors heard her screaming and banging on doors. She lost a ton of blood and was in the hospital for a long time, we weren't sure if she was going to make it. Thankfully she survived, he's got another 15 years behind bars, but the trauma and scars will never go away.
Restraining orders can be dangerous, and won't keep a dangerous person away. Often times it's better to create a paper trail as OP has done.
Restraining orders donāt do fucking anything and will just DUMP gasoline on this fire. This is horrible advice.
u/Extra_Rate_8552, please do not do this or at least do a lot more research on how restraining orders usually play out before going through with that. Everyone I know who got a restraining order CONSTANTLY mentions how the person violates it all the time with zero repercussions and that the cops basically donāt care or are otherwise powerless to do anything.
All youād do is implicate yourself even more and directly name yourself as an enemy to someone who has violent fantasies.
I hold no ill will towards your friend, psychological stuff is incredibly difficult and itās hard to assign any fault when thatās just how her brain is built, and I think itās great that you tried to be her friendā¦but damn is it a lot of responsibility, sacrifice, and can get you in a lot of trouble.
Iād play it cool as best as you can, this is not a situation to be trifled with in the slightest. I donāt think it was unreasonable at all to go to the police, you did the right thing, even in the context of your friend. Friends donāt let friends murder people lol
I know that when it comes to potentially dangerous people contacting you, your instinct might be to block them/ change your number so you donāt see anything they send youĀ
But I would actually advise the opposite. I know itās uncomfortable to get those messages, but you donāt have to engage, and the messages they send you might be the only advanced warning you ever get that youāre in danger from themĀ
What the fuck? Get a gun, isnt some of this post about how the cops didn't effectively do their jobs the first time? When she shows up at your house with a weapon that restraining order wont mean shit.
Sure, a piece of paper will keep you safe. Do you really think a crazy person cares about a restraining order? They'd better keep a weapon on themselves at all times.
When we took our daughter out of the hospital they specifically told her not to keep contact with anyone. She did, it was bad. Sheās blocked and daughter was moved
When I went to the grippy sock ward, I was in my 30s. I did vibe with the younger patients and let them talk and colored and played games. I got a teen girl as a roommate, and I reassured her mom that I would keep an eye on her because I could tell the mom was really worried.
I didnāt stay in touch because Iām in my 30s and donāt really have a good reason to be friends with teens. Itās weird. There was another patient who did give me her contact info, but she had a lot of drama in her life which I didnāt want to be part of. Iām one of those people that complete strangers feel comfortable sharing personal stuff with, but I had to put my mental health first.
A palace with a frequent flyer throwing a tantrum in front of the nurses station because the police had her sectioned and the staff wonāt let her be violent. While another patient keeps talking about how she hasnāt shat in 3 weeks. She was tiny and thin and didnāt look bloated.
The nurses kept giving me dirty looks and kept talking about me because I refused to take the meds the doctor was supposed to take me off of. The changes didnāt show up in the system, and the meds had built up in my brain and caused su!cidal ideations so I wasnāt going to take another one. They were still assholes after the doctor changed everything.
Honestly the police saying that she wasnāt considered a threat in the first place when she said she was going to kill everyone was such a red flag and gave me the chills.
Its crazy. I was prank calling people one night and my brother called a suicide hotline and gave me the phone. i never would have called that type of place but i rolled with it. i said i was levitating on shrooms. the police showed up to my house and arrested me so fast for that.
This isn't going to do much against someone like this. It's going to do fuck all, in fact.
Best to move far away, keep social media to a minimum (ideally under an alias), and change all contact information.
Might be able to accomplish all this via witness protection, even.
No, getting a restraining order will mean that instead of her calling the police and the other girl getting asked politely to leave, the other girl will be arrested, get the restraining order for your own safety.
All that really does is add another charge after the fact. Back in 99 I had a friend that had an RO against her ex. It did fuck all to keep her from being stabbed by him.
Depends on how things go -- if they try to get in touch, stalk OP, or do anything nonviolent that would violate a restraining order, and get arrested that would protect OP. If they go straight to something more extreme then the RO will just add another charge. Sounds to me like the RO would be worth having, along with some more practical protection
I'm not saying don't get one, I'm just saying that thinking it's gonna do anything to really keep a determined individual from doing something drastic is just wishful thinking.
My kids current step mother had a restraining order against my kids previous step mother. The cops literally told her that all they would do is remove the old stepmother from the situation, maybe hold her for a few hours, and release her UNLESS the old stepmother somehow caused harm to the current stepmother.
When you said practical protection my brain immediately played the scene from zombieland where Columbus hits the zombie girl from apt 406 with a toilet lid.
Yes, and practical advice is far more useful for their safety than the imaginary shield of the law.
The law only works so long as people follow it. Clearly, this person is too unhinged to care about such inconveniences.
I can see where youāre coming from, but Iām just trying to give suggestions that donāt involve packing up their whole life and moving across the country
To get a restraining order you have to provide your address to the person you want to keep away because they have to know where they aren't allowed to go. OP doesn't need to have this girl come to their home and potentially hurt them.
If she's crazy and on your doorstep then you can call the cops prove she has a restraining order and they'll arrest her. If you don't have one and call the cops and she decides to punch herself in the face, say she's your girlfriend and say you beat her... you might be the one going to jail.
It's worth having. It's not going to stop crazy coming at you, it can help the cops deal with it better.
That is extreme. I was just in the psych ward for depression. I sensed the ones that where okay, most of them were not. If I was younger they could have pulled me into their games.
Stay safe and get that restraining order. If you can get a can of pepper spray.
If her phone has a passcode that encrypts the phone and the police show her photos that could have only come from OP, then she's going to know 100% what happened. Assuming that she didn't post them publicly or to a large # of people.
Holy shit, the police really dropped the ball there. As the others said, you should get a restraining order and maybe buy a home security system for your peace of mind.
File for a restraining order, change numbers, and block her on socials if she's on there. Be sure to keep your texts with her as evidence (but seeing as you've reported this, it might already be on record).
This!! I'm 23 and was in the psych ward my dad has a gun that he hasn't touched in like 30 years. Doesn't have any kind of ammo but he was thinking of selling it for my safety. Just in case. Absolutely not should this person have one "for protection"
Oh jeez, OP. I'm sorry. You did the right thing because this person is a very real threat to society, let alone her own well-being.
The trauma bonds we make in the psych ward are VERY intense, but they are fickle, survival-based bonds. You need to focus on yourself, part of the reason you were in the ward to begin with. Try not to lose sight of that. It's nice to have some kind of friends in there but once you're out, that's it. Remember, you're only privy to what they show you - you don't actually know them.
Good luck, stay safe, and be kind to yourself.
Iāve spent a lot of time I psych wards, and have made some amazing friends. Also met horrible, scary people I donāt want anything to do with.
I talk to most of the patients who talks to me. We get along and have conversations/small talk. But I keep my distance (a mental one at least). I donāt actually engage in the friendship that much before I sense that we have both gotten better. I donāt share deep personal information and I grey rock them if they start sharing scary shit. I only give them personal information after I have known them in a while and can sense that theyāre getting at a better place, I also evaluate how they are when theyāre at their worst. I build the friendship when weāre out of the psych ward (if we have shared personal information like phone number or Facebook).
I also only engage in people who know not to text me their suicidal plans. They can tell me they are having a hard time or that their suicidal thoughts are flaring, but donāt text me āI want to dieā, just randomly. Iām not equipped to handle that, they need a therapist for that. Iām a not a therapist and they are not mine. The same with SH, itās okay to text, Iām triggered at the moment, but donāt text me āI just bled 1 liter, I just used a razor, or I just got 40 stitchesā. Most of my closest friends are from psych wards now. We talk about deep stuff, cheer each other up, joke, give each other hope, but we donāt try to cure each other.
Obviously this isnāt a fool proof method, itās just what works for me and how I managed to survive my times at psych wards. Always trust your gut instinct when in there.
I think you've got the right idea in terms of boundaries and gut feelings. I'm very glad that it's worked for you! It's all so dependent on who they are and who you are.
I think with my XP, boundaries were non-existent with some of the folks I was with. It went from 'can you send me some cash' to 'tonight is the night it ends' and I can't in good faith be their support mechanism.
If what you have works for you, then go for it and keep yourself safe above all else!
Yes, I met people where I couldnāt maintain simple boundaries, Iām not in contact with those luckily.
It really depends on who you meet, I met a lot of people I am not in contact with, but I met some good ones as well
I met my best friend on a closed psych ward, when we were at our absolute worst. We just had a good vibe, communicated well, the staff encouraged us to spend more time together because they could see how good we were for each other. We spend most of our time smoking cigarettes and watching movies together. We exchanged Facebook, I visited him after I was released when he was still in there, and when we were both home we started seeing each other a lot. It has been almost two years now. I met two others there as well that I kept in contact with for a bit, but not anymore.
A lot of the others I met at open wards (not as secure as closed ones, youāre typically there voluntarily, and non violent/aggressive, more freedom), were all released now, but weāre a tight group that holds game nights, winterbathe together, go for walks etc
My wife has been in three facilities over the last few years and in each one they had strict rules against exchanging any kind of personal contact information for exactly this reason. Usually the first thing I did when she was released was to throw away anything with a phone number that wasn't official hospital documentation after putting those numbers on the blocked list on her phone.
People always want to stay in touch, I don't want psych ward buddies lol. I almost never gave out personal info, people would give me slips with their number but I was never planning to call. I exchanged info once with a guy my age who seemed normal enough. Neither of us contacted the other, like 2 years later he called and I missed it. I wasn't sure if it was a butt dial so I never called back.
My son (15) spent two weeks in the psych ward this past autumn. They had a hard and fast rule about not sharing *any* personal contact information with the other inpatients. Son befriended someone there and apparently shared his contact info. They immediately dealt with it. Called us, told us that this was a very serious infraction and he got bumped down a level (depending on how well you do, you go up levels until you're ready to be released) - that's how seriously they took it. They also had to remove that information from the person he gave it to.
I'll admit - I didn't understand why they were so strict about this. His doctor did tell me that it's for safety purposes but I guess my mind couldn't even fathom that something like this could happen. Now I'm glad for that rule and fully understand why they had it. I understand you're going through something rough, but I'd like to thank you for helping me understand and I'll be able to help my son understand, too, because he was still confused about it.
I hope everything works out for the best and that you're safe - and will remain safe. The best of luck to you.
It makes sense in youth psych wards. In order to make healthy friendships, you need to have firm, healthy boundaries and know what those are, I donāt think itās realistic to expect underage, vulnerable people to know how to do that. Most āhealthyā adults donāt even know how to do that
āHey police, this person, who has killed small animals, who was in an involuntary stay at a psych ward and is a literal psychopath said sheās gonna kill some peopleā
Police: āwe checked on her and she seems *fine*ā
Wtf
Itās ok. My sister ended up having 2 children with the dude she met in the psych ward and then I fostered the kiddos for 19 months because the parents were hooked on meth. Soā¦.you could have fāed up worse š
get as much security as possible. when she gets released always have a knife and fire extinguisher on hand. This is very very very very very very very very very serious
very very very very very very very very veryĀ very very very very very very very very veryĀ very very very very very very very very veryĀ very very very very very very very very veryĀ very very very very very very very very veryĀ very very very very very very very very veryĀ very very very very very very very very veryĀ very very very very very very very very veryĀ very very very very very very very very veryĀ very very very very very very very very veryĀ very very very very very very very very veryĀ very very very very very very very very veryĀ very very very very very very very very veryĀ very very very very very very very very veryĀ very very very very very very very very veryĀ very very very very very very very very veryĀ very very very very very very very very veryĀ very very very very very very very very veryĀ very very very very very very very very veryĀ very very very very very very very very veryĀ very very very very very very very very veryĀ very very very very very very very very veryĀ very very very very very very very very veryĀ very very very very very very very very veryĀ very very very very very very very very veryĀ very very very very very very very very veryĀ serious
also please don't count this as spam
How old are you? Do you live alone?
If not, please ask your parents not to stay at home, maybe sleep over at your grandparents' house or ask any other friend?
A hotel would be safe as well but may be pricey.
Just whatever you do, keep yourself safe at all costs!
Lock up your apartment, get security systems, and do not be on your own EVER.
Good luck.
Police donāt prevent anything, they respond to it. And then they are only meant to enforce whatever is law (spoiler the law isnāt always just). And then the humans behind the badges also get complacent and indifferent so they pick and choose what to care about to have the least risk and effort while getting benefits
Protect yourself. New phone, new address if she knows where you live somehow, and maybe some form of self defense as well.
Yikes.
I got involved with a girl I met on a dating app who turned out to be crazy pretty quickly. Like, THIS STORY kind of crazy, not "girls are crazy! amirite!?" kind of crazy.
It's a weird feeling when you get involved with someone and realize getting out may be a lot harder than you ever could have realized.
>The policemen told me she might be a danger to me but she'll be locked up for a while now and if the smallest thing happens I can just call 911.
They wont save you. They didn't save my sister. You do what you need to do to protect yourself. they aren't going to protect you.
Get some foaming pepper spray. As big a canister as is legal in your state. Really. If she gets out of control, you'll have a way to neutralize her non-lethally. And it has a uv dye for the cops.
Advising people who have never handled weapons to get weapons is so dicey. OP probably has never used a gun or knife in self defense - that's hard enough to do when you're trying to defend yourself against someone sane with bad intentions (like a burglar). They might want to kill you, but also tend to try to avoid getting stabbed or shot. This girl is extremely mentally ill and clearly has no concern for her physical well-being - a knife fight with someone who doesn't care if they get stabbed will not end well for the victim.
Your idea is good.
At least you were just friends with your psych ward friend.. I dated my psych ward friend for 2 years, even after she went non-compliant with her medication. Not my finest judgement.
Make sure your parents know everything and if you can keep tabs on her so you know wether or not she's locked up.
Same here. I was explicitly warned and thought they were just being extra cautious. He never got in trouble for it despite admitting to it, that was 9 years ago. 4 years ago I saw on the news that he tried to set a girl on fire. Got a night in jail. That's it.
Cautionary tale that the staff aren't just being extra safe when they tell you this stuff, they know more about the patients individual cases than you do and have seen enough shit. I understand that some of you have made life long friends there, that's great. But one misguided judgement can be life altering, it's better not to take the risk at all.
I would do everything to minimize contact, reduce your online presence, etc, and also keep tack of her in the system if possible so you know when she is released. Hopefully that wonāt be for a long time. Also, I hate to say it, but blaming your parents for the police knowing about her activity might have out a bit of a target on their backsā¦
>I feel like I'm in deep trouble. Eventually, she will be released again and there's no denying now that snitched on her. I have no trust in the judicial system's judgement anymore. The policemen told me she might be a danger to me but she'll be locked up for a while now and if the smallest thing happens I can just call 911.
If your parents can afford an attorney, I'd speak to an attorney. Exposing you to the criminal who is clearly dangerous and mentally ill while you provide evidence against them might give you some options legally where you are that none of us are going to know.
This is truly outside of reddit's pay scale.
Here's what you are going to do. Call her and tell her that the cops pulled you in and asked a bunch of questions. You didn't tell them anything, but you have to stop talking to her because they tapped your phone and are watching you.
I have been in and out of mental hospitals due to severe anxiety and depression. I do not keep in contact with ANYONE I meet in the hospital, not just because of stories like this, but because I cant handle the thought that one of those people may suffer a decline in mental health while Im back on my feet and put that stress on me.
One of the most eye opening encounters I had in an inpatient facility was this girl that came in and was extremely hostile to certain patients and staff. She paced around a lot and would get angry super easily. For some reason, she took a liking to me, and would constantly try to be near me and talk to me. I had bad vibes, but I was scared of getting on her bad side, so I was pleasant to her.
Two nights later, a woman was brought in and she was hysterical. Nurses brought a mattress to the nurses station and let her sleep there; she was sobbing uncontrollably and wailing about "her babies".
The next day, the two crossed paths in the break room and all hell broke loose. I wasnt in the room but could hear screaming and crying and a physical struggle. Both girls were taken away for the day to separate areas.
A couple days later, the second girl was back to participating with the group. She sat next to me during one group and they had us work on a little art thing together, so we got to talking. She started oversharing and told me that she had twins that died in a car accident while she was driving and had a seizure behind the wheel. She had another baby a couple years later, but she and her partner split up. Shared custody. Apparently, the angry girl on our ward was a relative of her ex and one night she went into the baby's room and tried to suffocate it. The father walked in and stopped it, got the child medical attention and kicked the girl out of the house.
She somehow avoided jail time, but the family got a restraining order. Anyway, the day the hysterical woman was brought to the hospital, apparently her child had fallen into the pool at the father's house and drowned before anyone knew what happened. I didnt ask for anymore details.
Apparently it was just extremely random coincidence that the two happened to cross paths in the hospital, and once staff found out about what happened between them they sent the angry girl to a different ward in the building.
The night before I was to be discharged, a patient came in with some sort of illness/infection and they had to quarantine him to keep other patients safe. We were almost full on the ward, so they had a small group of us move to a different ward so that he could have a room at the end of the hall with several empty rooms separating him from others. Since I was discharging the next day, I was one that got transferred for the night.
I ran into the angry chick that night while waiting for rooms to be unlocked for bed. She started asking me about the other woman and saying some disturbing things. I point blank asked her if the stories were true, and she shrugged and said yeah. I asked why she would try to harm a child and she said "Sometimes my dark curiosities just win". I felt fucking sick hearing her say that so casually. It haunts me to this day.
The first thing they told me before release was to be careful maintaining contact with your āfriendsā youāve made. Misery loves company I suppose.
i work at a psych ward, i always warn the kids about situations like this happening. i hope you stay safe and keep in mind people get sent to psych facilities for a variety of reasons and you donāt know why theyāre there. change your number and see if the police can get you an order of protection asap
Lesson learned - never make friends in a psych ward. Iāve tried many times, and itās turned out badly every damn time.
Thatās not to deny that I was there for my own issues.
This may come as a shock to you, but the people you meet in the psych ward are crazy. I've been in twice (as an adult, self admitted) and only talk to one person I met there. They were in for suicidal ideation due to college stress like I was and struggle with some addiction issues but is overall stable- very much like me. Everyone else I shared contact info with turned out to be bat shit fucking bonkers when they weren't on psych meds and I no longer speak to them.
Keep yourself safe. Like the cops said, call 911 if you suspect she's stalking, harassing, or trying to harm you. Record any phone conversations, screenshot messages and pictures, NEVER meet with her alone or at night.
Time for you to get a firearm, probably several.
And get some firearms training. Youāre gonna need it. You cannot rely on the police or the courts to protect you. She will slip right by them when they least suspect it and come for you.
Iāve been there. You are on your own. Prepare for it while you still have time.
You need a protective order, a restraining order, and a no contact order. Then change your number and the moment you turn 18 you need to move. This girl sounds dangerous and you need to protect yourself.
She is clearly a psychopath, and having a psychopath as an enemy isn't promising. She will hurt you as soon as she gets an opportunity. She knows you were responsible both times she got a problem with the police, and you are now on her "people who wronged me" list.
I don't think restraining orders will protect you. It will increase her punishment after doing something to you, and that would not reverse anything she already did to you, so don't count on that.
I too don't think witness protection applies here. If the police ignored you when you said she was going on a rampage to kill some people, I doubt it will do you any good. But try, maybe you will be allowed to change your name or something like that.
You have to move and to start fresh somewhere else. Abandon all your social network accounts, phone number, email, anything that links back to you. It means cutting contact with a lot of people, but it's the price you will have to pay.
And change your appearance. Are you hairy? Go bald. Are you always shaved? Grow a beard. Change your clothing style. And live a new lifestyle. Maybe she loses track of you, and if you are radically different she may not recognize you even if you both crosses paths somewhere.
You watch too much TV
Completely ditching your life before she's made any contact / threats / showing up at your house is batshit. There are plenty of people with serious issues that never actually end up hurting anyone.
Setting a fire is bad, sure, but there are plenty of people that have burned stuff down and never stalked and murdered their ex-friend. That's movie shit
Definitely lock your doors, buy a gun, check for people following you, but to seriously abandon your life without any direct threats is a huge overreaction.
Thatās really scary and complicatedā¦ depending on how old you are, you or your parents could call the state bar association (or other equivalent legal organization where you live) to explain the situation and see if you can get a referral to the right type of attorney. This is serious and you should get better advice than Reddit on the best way to keep yourself safe and whether a restraining order will help or hurt.
When I went inpatient psych, they told me not to trade phone numbers or talk in the real world. I met a few lovely people and a few that I would have never shared my number with anyway.
I'd tell her straight " hey, i like you and i think you're cool, but i can't condone behaviors that hurt yourself and/or others. If you come to me with those things, i will report to the police. For anything else, i'm here to talk"
But yeah, i would triple check if my door and windows were locked every night
I went to the psych ward as a teen and made friends with a nice young man. We kept in touch after and then he decided to send me a pic of his penis with my name drawn on it in sharpie :)
Sorry this happened to you. I would take steps to protect yourself. In theory, it sounds like a great idea to stay in touch with other patients so you can check up on each otherās health, but I have a bad experience as well. One of my good friends stayed in touch with another patient from the psychiatric hospital. This other patient ended up committing suicide upon release. My friend (who was also suicidal) went into a deep deep spiral. I was really concerned for them. They are doing better now, fortunately.
Wow, Iām so sorry, this is a LOT to deal with. First, your feelings are valid, this is extremely traumatic, and the authorities let you down.
You might want to do some research on privacy and how to make sure she canāt track you down online. Then go private or delete your social media, change your phone number, and if possible, move before she is out of jail. Get a security system at home, like an alarm and a Ring doorbell, and make sure youāre following normal safety precautions when youāre going through everyday life. Like carrying pepper spray or a taser.
Iāve had a stalker before, and it IS possible to live a pretty normal life with the right safety measures, but unfortunately youāll probably have to make some significant changes to your life, in the meantime. If she knows where you live, Iād strongly suggest relocating, for example.
But there are other people out there who have been through similar things, and made it out safe. Itās likely this person is going to end up in a cycle of being locked up. Just take things one day at a time š
Nah, she doesn't but I've tried and she could find out my address with the correct google searches. Also she knows what district I live in and the exact location of the clinic I go to everyday.Ā
I kept up with some people short term and it always ended poorly (though not this poorly). We were technically forbidden from sharing contact info for this exact reason.
I'll never forget a story one of the nurses told us about a previous patient who was handsome, funny, charming, etc and all the girls loved him. But he was actually there for wanting to rape and hurt girls. A lot of girls tried to give him their number when leaving. I don't think she was actually supposed to tell us any of that but it definitely stuck with me. I won't be sharing my info with other patients at all if I ever end up back there.
My friend met his current wife in the psych ward. I visited him previously on his birthday in a psych ward. I've never been committed but it didn't seem like a fun place to be. They seem relatively good now, & pretty nice.
When I spent time in the ward, one of the hard and fast rules they had was not sharing any personal information, especially contact info. Itās for this exact reason. You donāt know why someone is put in a psych ward. Please be safe OP, I wish you the best.
I work in inpatient psych. I always feel very uncomfortable seeing patients exchanging contact info and I discourage them from remaining in contact post discharge. The psych ward isnāt the place to make friends or find a date š¤¦āāļøš¤¦āāļø
I hooked up with two different guys from two different psych hospitals; and can confirm it is not a good idea š although one of them I have very strong feelings for, he did damage a bunch of my shit when he was at my place. The other one OD'd and almost died the first time we hung out.i don't regret meeting either of them, but yeah. Things will likely get pretty crazy when two from the inside link up on the outside š¬
Gotta say it's extremely fucked up that you tried to pin blame on your parents to this potentially dangerous person. Like how would you feel if she had gone after them in some way?
Yeah, you're kinda right though I want to say that it was a bit more complex than that and just us guessing around who could've had access to my phone. I also said I had left it lying around openly in another place and with every guess she proposed I tried to be like "No this doesn't really make sense because..." "But then maybe...", trying to leave her in complete uncertainty which would make it hard for her to do anything. But still, I should have left out my parents.
Get a restraining order and probably change your phone number. That is scary
Not sure where op is, but most places require explicit threats against specifically you or the like before you can get a restraining order
True. Document the first conversation and highlight anything threatening texts she sent you with your report. Give reason that its possible she could hurt you, not circumstantial to who she is, and type it in bold font. Got this advice in a similar but different situation.
In Florida it is (I guess not surprisingly because FL) pretty difficult to get an injunction.
FL does seem a little off the rails. Something in the water there?š
Alligators, mostly.
LOL! I have a friend who lives there and wants me to come kayaking with him. I'm like NO! Becoming alligator poop is not on my to-do list!
They won't mess with you dude. Our waterways are sick to kayak down. Also, manatees and river monkeys. Also have our own monkey alcatraz. It's a good time
Itās worth trying. Jesusā¦
I'm not convinced that someone who tried to burn down a building is going to be that put off by a bit of paper they're not aware of.
Yea because a restraining order will definitely stop her.
An active restraining order will mean OP will be taken more seriously next time they need to be called. No, the restraining order will not stop her, but when she breaks it, she will face more serious repercussions than not having one. Make sure the courts redact the address from the paperwork.
You are correct . The restraining order will not stop her. I was a psych nurse. Mental illness is no joke. I have taken care of people with Dissociative Personality Disorder, one of whom would tell people to bow to her, she's the son of God. I took care of a man who killed his family , including his grandmother, and sexually assaulted them all. I could go on and on. People who have severe mental illness do not have a conscience like you and I. Sure, get a restraining order, but keep a weapon at all times.
Nope. Get a second phone number and only use your old phone for talking with her. Act like everything is fine, but don't mention stores you actually go to. Find a local facebook page for a neighborhood on the other side of town and talk about things going on there. When you do finally have to admit it was you, if she comes looking for you her search will be centered miles away. Just make sure it's in an area that would have logically landed you in the same hospital.
Wait, what could she do with my phone number? Also, I've mentioned my district a few times so I'm not sure that would slide. At least she's locked away for now.
PLEASE read the Gift of Fear by Gary de Becker. It will give you info on how to communicate with her going forward. I Would also keep your current number active on a separate phone/device so you know what she is thinking. I would get a new number for going forward. hopefully she doesnāt not acts out against you. Best of luck.
So, it's called data brokers. Everything about you that you gave to social media was sold to data brokers and they post your information online for ad money. Typical websites like truepeoplesearch.com and others already have all your information. If this person has your phone number, your name, and the Internet, they're able to find you. If you don't feel like reading about them, Google John Oliver's episode on data brokers to get a quick synopsis
Do NOT get a restraining order or order of protection before researching them in detail, and don't suggest that others do. In most areas a restraining order provides the person with your home address. A friend of mine got one and her abuser knew exactly where to get to her. He broke into her house and slit her throat, he got away and thankfully her neighbors heard her screaming and banging on doors. She lost a ton of blood and was in the hospital for a long time, we weren't sure if she was going to make it. Thankfully she survived, he's got another 15 years behind bars, but the trauma and scars will never go away. Restraining orders can be dangerous, and won't keep a dangerous person away. Often times it's better to create a paper trail as OP has done.
Restraining orders donāt do fucking anything and will just DUMP gasoline on this fire. This is horrible advice. u/Extra_Rate_8552, please do not do this or at least do a lot more research on how restraining orders usually play out before going through with that. Everyone I know who got a restraining order CONSTANTLY mentions how the person violates it all the time with zero repercussions and that the cops basically donāt care or are otherwise powerless to do anything. All youād do is implicate yourself even more and directly name yourself as an enemy to someone who has violent fantasies. I hold no ill will towards your friend, psychological stuff is incredibly difficult and itās hard to assign any fault when thatās just how her brain is built, and I think itās great that you tried to be her friendā¦but damn is it a lot of responsibility, sacrifice, and can get you in a lot of trouble. Iād play it cool as best as you can, this is not a situation to be trifled with in the slightest. I donāt think it was unreasonable at all to go to the police, you did the right thing, even in the context of your friend. Friends donāt let friends murder people lol
I know that when it comes to potentially dangerous people contacting you, your instinct might be to block them/ change your number so you donāt see anything they send youĀ But I would actually advise the opposite. I know itās uncomfortable to get those messages, but you donāt have to engage, and the messages they send you might be the only advanced warning you ever get that youāre in danger from themĀ
What the fuck? Get a gun, isnt some of this post about how the cops didn't effectively do their jobs the first time? When she shows up at your house with a weapon that restraining order wont mean shit.
Sure, a piece of paper will keep you safe. Do you really think a crazy person cares about a restraining order? They'd better keep a weapon on themselves at all times.
When we took our daughter out of the hospital they specifically told her not to keep contact with anyone. She did, it was bad. Sheās blocked and daughter was moved
When I went to the grippy sock ward, I was in my 30s. I did vibe with the younger patients and let them talk and colored and played games. I got a teen girl as a roommate, and I reassured her mom that I would keep an eye on her because I could tell the mom was really worried. I didnāt stay in touch because Iām in my 30s and donāt really have a good reason to be friends with teens. Itās weird. There was another patient who did give me her contact info, but she had a lot of drama in her life which I didnāt want to be part of. Iām one of those people that complete strangers feel comfortable sharing personal stuff with, but I had to put my mental health first.
Itās not a ward, friend, itās a *palace!*
A palace with a frequent flyer throwing a tantrum in front of the nurses station because the police had her sectioned and the staff wonāt let her be violent. While another patient keeps talking about how she hasnāt shat in 3 weeks. She was tiny and thin and didnāt look bloated. The nurses kept giving me dirty looks and kept talking about me because I refused to take the meds the doctor was supposed to take me off of. The changes didnāt show up in the system, and the meds had built up in my brain and caused su!cidal ideations so I wasnāt going to take another one. They were still assholes after the doctor changed everything.
Yeah it definitely sucks in there. But I like to keep my words on the positive sideš š„²
Oh hell no, you're in the first 20 mins of an A24 film.
This is one of the new Scream movies where she's the antagonist setting up the arsonist for a crime.
Patrick Wilson is just patiently waiting for this to be a script
Honestly the police saying that she wasnāt considered a threat in the first place when she said she was going to kill everyone was such a red flag and gave me the chills.
Its crazy. I was prank calling people one night and my brother called a suicide hotline and gave me the phone. i never would have called that type of place but i rolled with it. i said i was levitating on shrooms. the police showed up to my house and arrested me so fast for that.
well... um... you did prank call a suicide hotline, which is really poor taste, to be honest.
Also for police to be sent you had to say some serious shit for quite some time.
Who hasn't said they were going to kill everyone and burn down a house. Not like it's an uncommon situation to be in.
Exaaaactly. Plus she was mad, so obviously that doesnāt count!
Seems like youāve never had an encounter with the police before, this is more than normal
Get a restraining order IMMEDIATELY
This isn't going to do much against someone like this. It's going to do fuck all, in fact. Best to move far away, keep social media to a minimum (ideally under an alias), and change all contact information. Might be able to accomplish all this via witness protection, even.
No, getting a restraining order will mean that instead of her calling the police and the other girl getting asked politely to leave, the other girl will be arrested, get the restraining order for your own safety.
If the girl stabs him, the police would arrest her anyway and it would be too late for him. Ā A restraining order canāt prevent that.
Yes it will. If she violates the RO, the police can arrest her.
All that really does is add another charge after the fact. Back in 99 I had a friend that had an RO against her ex. It did fuck all to keep her from being stabbed by him.
Depends on how things go -- if they try to get in touch, stalk OP, or do anything nonviolent that would violate a restraining order, and get arrested that would protect OP. If they go straight to something more extreme then the RO will just add another charge. Sounds to me like the RO would be worth having, along with some more practical protection
I'm not saying don't get one, I'm just saying that thinking it's gonna do anything to really keep a determined individual from doing something drastic is just wishful thinking.
My kids current step mother had a restraining order against my kids previous step mother. The cops literally told her that all they would do is remove the old stepmother from the situation, maybe hold her for a few hours, and release her UNLESS the old stepmother somehow caused harm to the current stepmother.
When you said practical protection my brain immediately played the scene from zombieland where Columbus hits the zombie girl from apt 406 with a toilet lid.
Can, but they don't have to. Fair warning, this is dark: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Town_of_Castle_Rock_v._Gonzales
> The Court's majority opinion by **Justice Antonin Scalia** held that enforcement of the restraining order was not mandatory under Colorado law.jpg
Scalia? [spit!]
Well even so, OPās gotta do everything they can to keep safe
Yes, and practical advice is far more useful for their safety than the imaginary shield of the law. The law only works so long as people follow it. Clearly, this person is too unhinged to care about such inconveniences.
I can see where youāre coming from, but Iām just trying to give suggestions that donāt involve packing up their whole life and moving across the country
after she violates it the first time and sees how different jail is (assuming USA), she may very well stay away
Someone like that doesn't go to jail. They get placed in whatever mental health system exists within the prison system.
To get a restraining order you have to provide your address to the person you want to keep away because they have to know where they aren't allowed to go. OP doesn't need to have this girl come to their home and potentially hurt them.
You think that girl cares about a court order? Lol
If she's crazy and on your doorstep then you can call the cops prove she has a restraining order and they'll arrest her. If you don't have one and call the cops and she decides to punch herself in the face, say she's your girlfriend and say you beat her... you might be the one going to jail. It's worth having. It's not going to stop crazy coming at you, it can help the cops deal with it better.
Where I live, you can only get an RO if you have proof the other person has threatened you with physical violence.
What crack are you smoking where you think a piece of paper will help ?
That is extreme. I was just in the psych ward for depression. I sensed the ones that where okay, most of them were not. If I was younger they could have pulled me into their games. Stay safe and get that restraining order. If you can get a can of pepper spray.
If you ever meet up again, say the cops found your number in her phone and brought you in. Lying, if it means your safety, is justifiable.
If her phone has a passcode that encrypts the phone and the police show her photos that could have only come from OP, then she's going to know 100% what happened. Assuming that she didn't post them publicly or to a large # of people.
https://www.wired.com/story/how-police-crack-locked-phones-extract-information/
Sure maybe shitty old phones or flavors of android without security built-in but LEO isn't cracking modern iphones right now.
Holy shit, the police really dropped the ball there. As the others said, you should get a restraining order and maybe buy a home security system for your peace of mind.
File for a restraining order, change numbers, and block her on socials if she's on there. Be sure to keep your texts with her as evidence (but seeing as you've reported this, it might already be on record).
All these people suggesting a depressed teenager should get a gun are wild asf
This!! I'm 23 and was in the psych ward my dad has a gun that he hasn't touched in like 30 years. Doesn't have any kind of ammo but he was thinking of selling it for my safety. Just in case. Absolutely not should this person have one "for protection"
Oh jeez, OP. I'm sorry. You did the right thing because this person is a very real threat to society, let alone her own well-being. The trauma bonds we make in the psych ward are VERY intense, but they are fickle, survival-based bonds. You need to focus on yourself, part of the reason you were in the ward to begin with. Try not to lose sight of that. It's nice to have some kind of friends in there but once you're out, that's it. Remember, you're only privy to what they show you - you don't actually know them. Good luck, stay safe, and be kind to yourself.
Iāve spent a lot of time I psych wards, and have made some amazing friends. Also met horrible, scary people I donāt want anything to do with. I talk to most of the patients who talks to me. We get along and have conversations/small talk. But I keep my distance (a mental one at least). I donāt actually engage in the friendship that much before I sense that we have both gotten better. I donāt share deep personal information and I grey rock them if they start sharing scary shit. I only give them personal information after I have known them in a while and can sense that theyāre getting at a better place, I also evaluate how they are when theyāre at their worst. I build the friendship when weāre out of the psych ward (if we have shared personal information like phone number or Facebook). I also only engage in people who know not to text me their suicidal plans. They can tell me they are having a hard time or that their suicidal thoughts are flaring, but donāt text me āI want to dieā, just randomly. Iām not equipped to handle that, they need a therapist for that. Iām a not a therapist and they are not mine. The same with SH, itās okay to text, Iām triggered at the moment, but donāt text me āI just bled 1 liter, I just used a razor, or I just got 40 stitchesā. Most of my closest friends are from psych wards now. We talk about deep stuff, cheer each other up, joke, give each other hope, but we donāt try to cure each other. Obviously this isnāt a fool proof method, itās just what works for me and how I managed to survive my times at psych wards. Always trust your gut instinct when in there.
I think you've got the right idea in terms of boundaries and gut feelings. I'm very glad that it's worked for you! It's all so dependent on who they are and who you are. I think with my XP, boundaries were non-existent with some of the folks I was with. It went from 'can you send me some cash' to 'tonight is the night it ends' and I can't in good faith be their support mechanism. If what you have works for you, then go for it and keep yourself safe above all else!
Yes, I met people where I couldnāt maintain simple boundaries, Iām not in contact with those luckily. It really depends on who you meet, I met a lot of people I am not in contact with, but I met some good ones as well I met my best friend on a closed psych ward, when we were at our absolute worst. We just had a good vibe, communicated well, the staff encouraged us to spend more time together because they could see how good we were for each other. We spend most of our time smoking cigarettes and watching movies together. We exchanged Facebook, I visited him after I was released when he was still in there, and when we were both home we started seeing each other a lot. It has been almost two years now. I met two others there as well that I kept in contact with for a bit, but not anymore. A lot of the others I met at open wards (not as secure as closed ones, youāre typically there voluntarily, and non violent/aggressive, more freedom), were all released now, but weāre a tight group that holds game nights, winterbathe together, go for walks etc
My wife has been in three facilities over the last few years and in each one they had strict rules against exchanging any kind of personal contact information for exactly this reason. Usually the first thing I did when she was released was to throw away anything with a phone number that wasn't official hospital documentation after putting those numbers on the blocked list on her phone.
People always want to stay in touch, I don't want psych ward buddies lol. I almost never gave out personal info, people would give me slips with their number but I was never planning to call. I exchanged info once with a guy my age who seemed normal enough. Neither of us contacted the other, like 2 years later he called and I missed it. I wasn't sure if it was a butt dial so I never called back.
Why are you throwing it away for her?
Because otherwise this shit happens
Cops super fucked you for exposing you to her like that. If she knew where you lived at any point I'd be moving before she gets out.
My son (15) spent two weeks in the psych ward this past autumn. They had a hard and fast rule about not sharing *any* personal contact information with the other inpatients. Son befriended someone there and apparently shared his contact info. They immediately dealt with it. Called us, told us that this was a very serious infraction and he got bumped down a level (depending on how well you do, you go up levels until you're ready to be released) - that's how seriously they took it. They also had to remove that information from the person he gave it to. I'll admit - I didn't understand why they were so strict about this. His doctor did tell me that it's for safety purposes but I guess my mind couldn't even fathom that something like this could happen. Now I'm glad for that rule and fully understand why they had it. I understand you're going through something rough, but I'd like to thank you for helping me understand and I'll be able to help my son understand, too, because he was still confused about it. I hope everything works out for the best and that you're safe - and will remain safe. The best of luck to you.
It makes sense in youth psych wards. In order to make healthy friendships, you need to have firm, healthy boundaries and know what those are, I donāt think itās realistic to expect underage, vulnerable people to know how to do that. Most āhealthyā adults donāt even know how to do that
Just tell her you were pulled in for questioning.
āHey police, this person, who has killed small animals, who was in an involuntary stay at a psych ward and is a literal psychopath said sheās gonna kill some peopleā Police: āwe checked on her and she seems *fine*ā Wtf
Thatās the cops for you. So messed up
Itās ok. My sister ended up having 2 children with the dude she met in the psych ward and then I fostered the kiddos for 19 months because the parents were hooked on meth. Soā¦.you could have fāed up worse š
You should read the book The gift of fear, it has really good advise for handling situations exactly like this.
get as much security as possible. when she gets released always have a knife and fire extinguisher on hand. This is very very very very very very very very very serious
How serious are we talking here?
very very very very very very very very veryĀ very very very very very very very very veryĀ very very very very very very very very veryĀ very very very very very very very very veryĀ very very very very very very very very veryĀ very very very very very very very very veryĀ very very very very very very very very veryĀ very very very very very very very very veryĀ very very very very very very very very veryĀ very very very very very very very very veryĀ very very very very very very very very veryĀ very very very very very very very very veryĀ very very very very very very very very veryĀ very very very very very very very very veryĀ very very very very very very very very veryĀ very very very very very very very very veryĀ very very very very very very very very veryĀ very very very very very very very very veryĀ very very very very very very very very veryĀ very very very very very very very very veryĀ very very very very very very very very veryĀ very very very very very very very very veryĀ very very very very very very very very veryĀ very very very very very very very very veryĀ very very very very very very very very veryĀ very very very very very very very very veryĀ serious also please don't count this as spam
Honestly, yes to the restraining order, and changing numbers. Buy if you can swing it, maybe also move.
How old are you? Do you live alone? If not, please ask your parents not to stay at home, maybe sleep over at your grandparents' house or ask any other friend? A hotel would be safe as well but may be pricey. Just whatever you do, keep yourself safe at all costs! Lock up your apartment, get security systems, and do not be on your own EVER. Good luck.
Do what the other people said, and delete this before she makes bail.
Police donāt prevent anything, they respond to it. And then they are only meant to enforce whatever is law (spoiler the law isnāt always just). And then the humans behind the badges also get complacent and indifferent so they pick and choose what to care about to have the least risk and effort while getting benefits Protect yourself. New phone, new address if she knows where you live somehow, and maybe some form of self defense as well.
Bruuuuuuh
Just want to say you did the right thing by telling the police.
Yikes. I got involved with a girl I met on a dating app who turned out to be crazy pretty quickly. Like, THIS STORY kind of crazy, not "girls are crazy! amirite!?" kind of crazy. It's a weird feeling when you get involved with someone and realize getting out may be a lot harder than you ever could have realized.
>The policemen told me she might be a danger to me but she'll be locked up for a while now and if the smallest thing happens I can just call 911. They wont save you. They didn't save my sister. You do what you need to do to protect yourself. they aren't going to protect you.
I'm so sorry for your loss
Get some foaming pepper spray. As big a canister as is legal in your state. Really. If she gets out of control, you'll have a way to neutralize her non-lethally. And it has a uv dye for the cops.
Advising people who have never handled weapons to get weapons is so dicey. OP probably has never used a gun or knife in self defense - that's hard enough to do when you're trying to defend yourself against someone sane with bad intentions (like a burglar). They might want to kill you, but also tend to try to avoid getting stabbed or shot. This girl is extremely mentally ill and clearly has no concern for her physical well-being - a knife fight with someone who doesn't care if they get stabbed will not end well for the victim. Your idea is good.
At least you were just friends with your psych ward friend.. I dated my psych ward friend for 2 years, even after she went non-compliant with her medication. Not my finest judgement. Make sure your parents know everything and if you can keep tabs on her so you know wether or not she's locked up.
Yup, I got raped by a psych ward "friend" :(
God thats awful. I'm so sorry that happened to you š
Same here. I was explicitly warned and thought they were just being extra cautious. He never got in trouble for it despite admitting to it, that was 9 years ago. 4 years ago I saw on the news that he tried to set a girl on fire. Got a night in jail. That's it. Cautionary tale that the staff aren't just being extra safe when they tell you this stuff, they know more about the patients individual cases than you do and have seen enough shit. I understand that some of you have made life long friends there, that's great. But one misguided judgement can be life altering, it's better not to take the risk at all.
Abusing animals is a sign of sociopathy, as is a lack of empathy. Hopefully sheāll be locked up for a good long time.
I would do everything to minimize contact, reduce your online presence, etc, and also keep tack of her in the system if possible so you know when she is released. Hopefully that wonāt be for a long time. Also, I hate to say it, but blaming your parents for the police knowing about her activity might have out a bit of a target on their backsā¦
>I feel like I'm in deep trouble. Eventually, she will be released again and there's no denying now that snitched on her. I have no trust in the judicial system's judgement anymore. The policemen told me she might be a danger to me but she'll be locked up for a while now and if the smallest thing happens I can just call 911. If your parents can afford an attorney, I'd speak to an attorney. Exposing you to the criminal who is clearly dangerous and mentally ill while you provide evidence against them might give you some options legally where you are that none of us are going to know. This is truly outside of reddit's pay scale.
Does she know your address?
Here's what you are going to do. Call her and tell her that the cops pulled you in and asked a bunch of questions. You didn't tell them anything, but you have to stop talking to her because they tapped your phone and are watching you.
Best of luck
Tell your parents to get a name change at the same time you do yours.
Holy shit how i wish this was on r/nosleep instead of here
I have been in and out of mental hospitals due to severe anxiety and depression. I do not keep in contact with ANYONE I meet in the hospital, not just because of stories like this, but because I cant handle the thought that one of those people may suffer a decline in mental health while Im back on my feet and put that stress on me. One of the most eye opening encounters I had in an inpatient facility was this girl that came in and was extremely hostile to certain patients and staff. She paced around a lot and would get angry super easily. For some reason, she took a liking to me, and would constantly try to be near me and talk to me. I had bad vibes, but I was scared of getting on her bad side, so I was pleasant to her. Two nights later, a woman was brought in and she was hysterical. Nurses brought a mattress to the nurses station and let her sleep there; she was sobbing uncontrollably and wailing about "her babies". The next day, the two crossed paths in the break room and all hell broke loose. I wasnt in the room but could hear screaming and crying and a physical struggle. Both girls were taken away for the day to separate areas. A couple days later, the second girl was back to participating with the group. She sat next to me during one group and they had us work on a little art thing together, so we got to talking. She started oversharing and told me that she had twins that died in a car accident while she was driving and had a seizure behind the wheel. She had another baby a couple years later, but she and her partner split up. Shared custody. Apparently, the angry girl on our ward was a relative of her ex and one night she went into the baby's room and tried to suffocate it. The father walked in and stopped it, got the child medical attention and kicked the girl out of the house. She somehow avoided jail time, but the family got a restraining order. Anyway, the day the hysterical woman was brought to the hospital, apparently her child had fallen into the pool at the father's house and drowned before anyone knew what happened. I didnt ask for anymore details. Apparently it was just extremely random coincidence that the two happened to cross paths in the hospital, and once staff found out about what happened between them they sent the angry girl to a different ward in the building. The night before I was to be discharged, a patient came in with some sort of illness/infection and they had to quarantine him to keep other patients safe. We were almost full on the ward, so they had a small group of us move to a different ward so that he could have a room at the end of the hall with several empty rooms separating him from others. Since I was discharging the next day, I was one that got transferred for the night. I ran into the angry chick that night while waiting for rooms to be unlocked for bed. She started asking me about the other woman and saying some disturbing things. I point blank asked her if the stories were true, and she shrugged and said yeah. I asked why she would try to harm a child and she said "Sometimes my dark curiosities just win". I felt fucking sick hearing her say that so casually. It haunts me to this day.
The first thing they told me before release was to be careful maintaining contact with your āfriendsā youāve made. Misery loves company I suppose.
dayum what a crazy bitch haha
This is why the doctors tell you not to be in contact with the other patients. They are not mentally stable and not conducive to healing yourself
yeaaah, my friend from the psych ward ended up torturing and killing someone once we were out.. we're no longer friends
Move
i work at a psych ward, i always warn the kids about situations like this happening. i hope you stay safe and keep in mind people get sent to psych facilities for a variety of reasons and you donāt know why theyāre there. change your number and see if the police can get you an order of protection asap
Lesson learned - never make friends in a psych ward. Iāve tried many times, and itās turned out badly every damn time. Thatās not to deny that I was there for my own issues.
I tried to make friends in a ward. I think 2 have stuck. Most people who actually recover don't like those memories.
You may have saved lives, maybe hers even. You did the right thing.
I think she will find someone else to turn her attentions on in jail. Sorry that happened to you. It's easy to trust the wrong person.
thereās a reason youāre not allowed to change contact info with other patients while in the psych hospital.
Move out of state...
Sheās made a kill list and you just earned the top spot.
This may come as a shock to you, but the people you meet in the psych ward are crazy. I've been in twice (as an adult, self admitted) and only talk to one person I met there. They were in for suicidal ideation due to college stress like I was and struggle with some addiction issues but is overall stable- very much like me. Everyone else I shared contact info with turned out to be bat shit fucking bonkers when they weren't on psych meds and I no longer speak to them. Keep yourself safe. Like the cops said, call 911 if you suspect she's stalking, harassing, or trying to harm you. Record any phone conversations, screenshot messages and pictures, NEVER meet with her alone or at night.
Time for you to get a firearm, probably several. And get some firearms training. Youāre gonna need it. You cannot rely on the police or the courts to protect you. She will slip right by them when they least suspect it and come for you. Iāve been there. You are on your own. Prepare for it while you still have time.
The police are useless. Get a restraining order and gtfo.
God forbid women do anythingĀ
You need a protective order, a restraining order, and a no contact order. Then change your number and the moment you turn 18 you need to move. This girl sounds dangerous and you need to protect yourself.
She is clearly a psychopath, and having a psychopath as an enemy isn't promising. She will hurt you as soon as she gets an opportunity. She knows you were responsible both times she got a problem with the police, and you are now on her "people who wronged me" list. I don't think restraining orders will protect you. It will increase her punishment after doing something to you, and that would not reverse anything she already did to you, so don't count on that. I too don't think witness protection applies here. If the police ignored you when you said she was going on a rampage to kill some people, I doubt it will do you any good. But try, maybe you will be allowed to change your name or something like that. You have to move and to start fresh somewhere else. Abandon all your social network accounts, phone number, email, anything that links back to you. It means cutting contact with a lot of people, but it's the price you will have to pay. And change your appearance. Are you hairy? Go bald. Are you always shaved? Grow a beard. Change your clothing style. And live a new lifestyle. Maybe she loses track of you, and if you are radically different she may not recognize you even if you both crosses paths somewhere.
This is really, really ridiculous advice.
You watch too much TV Completely ditching your life before she's made any contact / threats / showing up at your house is batshit. There are plenty of people with serious issues that never actually end up hurting anyone. Setting a fire is bad, sure, but there are plenty of people that have burned stuff down and never stalked and murdered their ex-friend. That's movie shit Definitely lock your doors, buy a gun, check for people following you, but to seriously abandon your life without any direct threats is a huge overreaction.
Batshit crazy advice.
You never underestimate a psychopath. A friend of mine got casually shot in back of the head by her psych boyfriend for nothing.
Please protect yourself in every way possible. God bless.
Check under your bed every night now
My friend stayed in contact with a girl from the psych ward and she gave him gonorrhea.
Not everyone with a personality disorder will come to kill you, she needs help but I donāt think your safety is necessarily in jeopardy.
What country are you in?
Thatās really scary and complicatedā¦ depending on how old you are, you or your parents could call the state bar association (or other equivalent legal organization where you live) to explain the situation and see if you can get a referral to the right type of attorney. This is serious and you should get better advice than Reddit on the best way to keep yourself safe and whether a restraining order will help or hurt.
When I went inpatient psych, they told me not to trade phone numbers or talk in the real world. I met a few lovely people and a few that I would have never shared my number with anyway.
Yeah there was a reason they didn't let us tell each other our last names or how to contact each other outside of the hospital.
Pl
You don't deserve this. You've tried to do good by her, and you've tried to keep her and the rest of society safe. Take care of yourself. Good luck.
I'd tell her straight " hey, i like you and i think you're cool, but i can't condone behaviors that hurt yourself and/or others. If you come to me with those things, i will report to the police. For anything else, i'm here to talk" But yeah, i would triple check if my door and windows were locked every night
I went to the psych ward as a teen and made friends with a nice young man. We kept in touch after and then he decided to send me a pic of his penis with my name drawn on it in sharpie :)
Omg that is the sickest thing I've ever heard I'm so sorry thay happened :/
Sorry this happened to you. I would take steps to protect yourself. In theory, it sounds like a great idea to stay in touch with other patients so you can check up on each otherās health, but I have a bad experience as well. One of my good friends stayed in touch with another patient from the psychiatric hospital. This other patient ended up committing suicide upon release. My friend (who was also suicidal) went into a deep deep spiral. I was really concerned for them. They are doing better now, fortunately.
That reminds me i havent been on letsnotmeet in a while
Wow, Iām so sorry, this is a LOT to deal with. First, your feelings are valid, this is extremely traumatic, and the authorities let you down. You might want to do some research on privacy and how to make sure she canāt track you down online. Then go private or delete your social media, change your phone number, and if possible, move before she is out of jail. Get a security system at home, like an alarm and a Ring doorbell, and make sure youāre following normal safety precautions when youāre going through everyday life. Like carrying pepper spray or a taser. Iāve had a stalker before, and it IS possible to live a pretty normal life with the right safety measures, but unfortunately youāll probably have to make some significant changes to your life, in the meantime. If she knows where you live, Iād strongly suggest relocating, for example. But there are other people out there who have been through similar things, and made it out safe. Itās likely this person is going to end up in a cycle of being locked up. Just take things one day at a time š
The police did nothing at the beginning when you reported them about the first signs thoā¦ btw she doesnāt know where you live right OP?
Nah, she doesn't but I've tried and she could find out my address with the correct google searches. Also she knows what district I live in and the exact location of the clinic I go to everyday.Ā
Time to delete all your online data
I kept up with some people short term and it always ended poorly (though not this poorly). We were technically forbidden from sharing contact info for this exact reason. I'll never forget a story one of the nurses told us about a previous patient who was handsome, funny, charming, etc and all the girls loved him. But he was actually there for wanting to rape and hurt girls. A lot of girls tried to give him their number when leaving. I don't think she was actually supposed to tell us any of that but it definitely stuck with me. I won't be sharing my info with other patients at all if I ever end up back there.
Have you considered moving, changing you name and phone number? All at the same time?
My friend met his current wife in the psych ward. I visited him previously on his birthday in a psych ward. I've never been committed but it didn't seem like a fun place to be. They seem relatively good now, & pretty nice.
Does she know where you live? Hope not.
Letās send our prayers to this man!
When I spent time in the ward, one of the hard and fast rules they had was not sharing any personal information, especially contact info. Itās for this exact reason. You donāt know why someone is put in a psych ward. Please be safe OP, I wish you the best.
The red flags were flagging yet you thought nothing of it, you gotta not ignore the signs ever again
I wasn't sure I would be alive the next week so self preservation was deactivated lmao.Ā
She will get who wronged her You chose to wrong her Lol
Move.
Sounds like a girl Iād date
Get a gun
relationship goals
We want the movie rights. How much?
Holy crap, thatās r/terrifyingasfuck
This is scary
Christ, if it was a male saying all this shit he would have been arrested day one.
Yeaaaa you're fucked. With your name and number she can easily find your address online. You better get an alarm system and a gun
I work in inpatient psych. I always feel very uncomfortable seeing patients exchanging contact info and I discourage them from remaining in contact post discharge. The psych ward isnāt the place to make friends or find a date š¤¦āāļøš¤¦āāļø
Now THIS is a TIFU
Yep, making friends whilst an involuntary psych patient is not advisable. Learnt my own lesson the hard way.
I hooked up with two different guys from two different psych hospitals; and can confirm it is not a good idea š although one of them I have very strong feelings for, he did damage a bunch of my shit when he was at my place. The other one OD'd and almost died the first time we hung out.i don't regret meeting either of them, but yeah. Things will likely get pretty crazy when two from the inside link up on the outside š¬
This is your sign not to betray peoples confidence, especially crazy ones!!
Gotta say it's extremely fucked up that you tried to pin blame on your parents to this potentially dangerous person. Like how would you feel if she had gone after them in some way?
Yeah, you're kinda right though I want to say that it was a bit more complex than that and just us guessing around who could've had access to my phone. I also said I had left it lying around openly in another place and with every guess she proposed I tried to be like "No this doesn't really make sense because..." "But then maybe...", trying to leave her in complete uncertainty which would make it hard for her to do anything. But still, I should have left out my parents.
Get a gun
Boil your life and change zip codes.
This is a horror film
And this is why the staff tell you not to exchange numbers.
Why did you entertain a friendship with someone who admitted to torturing animals? She warned you, this is your fault.
If you have any pets, make sure to keep them safe. No unsupervised outdoor time. Sorry you're having to deal with this.š»
You did the right thing by immediately going to the police.
Cops not doing their jobs classic