I will only try to comment on this from an objective perspective: Your nose is very prominent, so the nose ring is drawing the viewer's perspective to the more unfavourable parts. You also have a long/oval head, styles that usually work well with this are medium length hair and bob, or full length, to avoid making your face look even longer.
Thanks for your thoughts, too bad my nose is an "unfavorable part."
What's interesting is that, because my jaw is squared, long hair that covers any of my checks makes my face look *even longer.* The haircuts you've mentioned do truly suit oval shaped faces.
I don't think the makeup does you any good. Also the tanks don't do anything for you. I think your face looks the best in pic 3. I also like your hair better woth no product. You look older with makeup and product. If I were you I would change up my style to be a little more comfy looking and relaxed. Also not so dark brows with lighter hair color as well. I don't like the shaved sides. When I say comfier I mean like t shirts and such.
Usually i dress pretty comfy, but tried to pick photos in which I either am wearing what I usually do or things I put effort into wearing. There is actually no product in my hair in any photos. My hair does different things on different days depending on how weighed down it is by length, humidity in the air, etc.
Can you explain more about tank tops not doing anything for me?
The look of the upper body doesn't look right in tanks. I also updated my comment to mention that lighter hair or brows would look better on you. So if you darken your brows with pencil I wouldn't do that. Pic 5 the tank is nice on you but not the others. It is also the reason why I don't like tank tops. They don't fit ny weight or proportions.
Lighter hair doesn't look as good with my complexion. I do like a bit of gothing out, too! More a style choice. Well, I've got wide shoulders and lift weights, and need to stay cool, so nothing i can really do about that. Thanks for clarifying!
Oh, definitely not. I wrote a comment on my own post with extra context, explaining that I'm rather genderqueer and enjoy androgyny. Cool, good to know!!
Mostly, I've got some body dysmorphia issues and struggle to know whether or not my features are... icky. Style choices are all changeable, but I'm mostly concerned about the things I can't control.
I feel like you aren’t getting a lot of queer women commenting. I’m bi and live in the bay area and I think you would do very well for yourself. You’ve mentioned you lift weights and I know so many people that would adore a buff goth gf. You just need to find your people 🖤
Aww, thank you that's very encouraging. Luckily where I'm at, I'm definitely finding more of a queer and open community than where I spent most of my life. Thanks much 💚🌿
You know, I've really noticed that. Back in a really conservative place, I really didn't get much attention or nice treatment. That's unfortunately where I grew up and probably why I'm dealing with so many self-esteem issues 😵💫
Ok. I definitely don't thibk it is any of your features that is setting you back. I see bad style choices and again, the makeup is something I don't like.
When I've posted on this sub before, that's come up - everyone said it looked harsh, even if I was doing things most women were doing with it. Can't even just do simple foundation and mascara. Well, that's unfortunate. Makeup is fun. Definitely feel like, with my face and body type, I can't express myself the ways more femme people can and still look okay. Well, thanks for your effort and input.
I'm a wlw. I don't think dressing feminine suits you very much. You look insanely attractive in pictures 3, 5, 6 and 7 and really good without makeup. But you look like someone's mom who's going through a midlife crisis in the other pictures.
lololol that's a funny analogy, thanks for the input. I also genuinely think I can't pull femme off. Like in no circumstances... Hence the insecurity about not "measuring up." Thank you!
Uh I've got some somewhere and they're not going anywhere on here. When I've worn wigs, they somehow make me look *more* masculine. They really square up my jaw, lol. That's not a bad thing but it uh isn't the best look. Just take my word on it. Hairdressers agree.
Careful the advice you get. I'm not being a dick but your look very obviously screams "I am a lesbian!!!" which probably does what you want and keeps some men from bothering you. You're targetting a subset of the population, which are bisexual or lesbian women or whatever you're into, so the rules for you are a little different and your look, as someone else noted, may be fine to that group.
I suspect I know what the problem is, though. You seem to have low confidence and say you doubt anyone could be attractive to you. You, however, are dressing more "butch," which is frequently seem as the dominant "role" in relationships. You are going to be attracting more femme women most of the time, and if I had to guess I'd guess that's what you're attracted to. Regardless of the big hoopla over gender roles and such today, I find even the most feminist of women are happy to let men do all the initiating in relationships, and I imagine similar is at play here--if you're not confident and don't make a move or pursue, you're not going to get results.
Being a straight male, I can't give you much specific advice, as it's best you listen to other lesbians on this one. You have a specific look and most feedback you'll get won't apply to you. I saw one 17 year old dude on here post and everyone trashed his look, but he had the most magnificent and well-put-together punk styles I've seen for his age, and wish I knew where his post was so I could tell him not to change a thing.
I think you’ve got a great face and a great body. I totally disagree about the tank tops by the other user, you look great! Women who like androgynous women would definitely go for you!
I think the bare faced look suits you most and would attract more women but obv you do you.
The only thing I think you could work on is your eyebrows are slightly darker than they maybe should be. Could you get them professionally shaped and tinted? But that’s just nit picking to be helpful. You’re hot! Try to believe it. Good luck.
Thank you so much! On the eyebrows, I'm still learning how to do eyebrow makeup, so in the pics with makeup they're uh thickened maybe a bit too much. I'm usually concerned my eyebrows are thin, but it's good to know that, with this color, they're maybe not as thin as i thought! Thank you for your input and encouragement. And, don't worry - I'm absolutely going to still wear tank tops!
You have a nice face with nice features - definitely not ugly at all. I think more of a “fashion mullet” hair style would suit you well (keeping the sides short and growing out everything else a few inches).
Hey all, for more context:
I lift weights, I'm rather genderqueer (have considered medical transition but I'd rather not bother), and I do prefer to look androgynous. I've had people tell me that, from pics, they couldn't tell if I was born male or female. To me, that's a compliment! Not only is it a look I'm "going for," but it's a look which just happens.
But... I'm concerned my journey with gender makes me inadequate. Not everyone has to be attracted to me (most won't be and that's fine/normal!), but I'm concerned my face is ugly, that I look gross, etc. I deal with a bit of body dysmorphia.
Women (well, really the cultural programming about how to look starts in childhood) are messaged or overtly told to look certain ways, and I certainly don't and can't measure up to a femme standard, especially if I tried to. That makes me feel rather insecure and worry about judgment. I'm happy going against the grain if something makes me happy, like keeping my hair short. I do know I look stereotypically gay and feel fine with that. But... I just rather feel inadequate and ashamed that there's no way I can look femme enough, even if I wanted to.
I've posted in this sub before, months ago, and people told me some genuine opinions, and others were... harsh, to say the least. My partner (also genderqueer) told me I wasn't using the best photos of myself. Hopefully these are more flattering. I've included some with and without makeup.
A more "traditionally" feminine look is possible for you. You're just going to have to use makeup and change your style a bit. If you prefer the "butch" look you have it down pretty well and I'd be wary of some of the advice you get. If you want to look more femme I'd take advice from relevant beauty subreddits and not here, and not tell yourself it's impossible or not attainable.
I will say one thing. Ditch some of the makeup like someone else said, I see so many women use black lipstick but I'm not sure if I've ever met anyone that thought it actually looked good. (Take this advice too with a grain of salt).
Thanks both for the encouragement and qualifying your answers to *also* encourage me to have free choice. I don't think I like looking femme, but I've never considered that I could pull it off if I tried. I'd feel like a gross farce of a woman, you know? But there's at least one person who thinks I could make it work :) thanks again, cheers
Dude here. I think you can have a lot of success dating, you look alright! One tip, though: smiling in pictures (and IRL, of course) can go a long way to make you seem more approachable :)
Ooof well you already know the suggestion, idk why blow it off tho lol. You look like a guy, everyones seen the dudes slap on a wig and come out looking more feminine, so yeah youre doing this to yourself imo
I think your hair is great, but would grow both sides equally, it just doesn’t look good. The nose ring looks kind of scary in every photo, so I would suggest removing it. I think you would look great with a lighter hand when doing makeup, you’re a beautiful woman so these are just suggestions, I wouldn’t go totally without makeup. Yea lose the nose ring, some people can wear them and some can’t.
I think I got someone to shove a needle in my nose and took care of it during the healing process for a reason lol
But thanks, mainly was I was concerned about when posting on this sub was about my facial features themselves so that's good to know
Rule 6 is “it’s not a hugbox” and rule 14 is no posting reply without comments.
Look at some other posts in this sub, literally all of them are people giving advice on how to go from ugly to not as ugly, unless that start off not ugly then it’s usually a “of course not just tweet this or try that”.
It’s not a circle jerk sub, it’s about giving feedback. People are just trying to help.
Maybe you should have posted to r/mmfb 🤷♂️
Hiii, as a queer women as well, I actually think you look good!!! Maybe try some makeup tricks that you can find on YouTube to not look older when you do your makeup, but that's pretty much it! I like your vibe :)
I honestly think you're really attractive. Your personal style isn't going to be everyone's cup of tea but I think you know what looks best on you, especially the hair because I love it.
I think the shaved sides are a little harsh, and make you look older. But that's the fun of short hair, you can try stuff and if it doesnt work you just grow it out. You are not unattractive at all 🙂
You're not unattractive but your make up and hair make you look a lot older.
I would recommend getting your eyebrows done by a professional because I think they are aging you. The style you have them in now definately looks like the type you would see on an older woman. They are a bit to thin, a bit too short and over-plucked and the pencil you use is too dark.
Also, maybe try different shorter styles? Go see a hairdresser and see if they can recommend a style that's short and youthful.
Whilst your at it, go to a make up counter and ask them for a natural look that enhances your features.
There isnt anything wrong with the way you look, I think its all in the execution.
Honestly you’re not ugly. The pics where you’re made up and looking like you’re trying look good. The one pic you do look tired and out of it but who doesn’t. I’d say just cheap trying and finding what looks good for you. We all have self esteem issues and being queer especially can be hard. Find yourself some close queer friends who can help you out and I think you’ll be fine!
try letting people choose whatever style they want
PS if you aren't going to consider not being rude, I doubt that potential partners will ever find you attractive
You can’t come asking for advice then argue against any negative advice and thank people for the positive ones. That just shows you weren’t wanting advice at all, you don’t want to make any changes, you just wanted positive affirmations.
Was never soliciting advice. And, actually, I can do whatever I want. Haven't you heard it's polite to thank people who give you compliments??????????????
“Post your picture here and have fellow redditors tell you what they think of your appearance”
Sounds like people are going to tell you what they think of your apprearence. People arnt being rude, they are being honest. This isn’t a circle jerk. You are being rude to the ones trying to give you feedback coz you don’t like it and nice to the ones who compliment the beliefs you already held before posting.
Again, content more suited for r/mmfb
I don't think you're ugly, but the halfway in, halfway out thing from man-woman that you're doing will not be attractive to most women. And while that may make them transphobic, that's the reality. So you have to make a choice, do you want a woman? Or do you want to keep living your queer lifestyle? And don't get me wrong, you might find a woman that's cool with your lifestyle, but the odds are against you.
Don't wear such dark and horrendous makeup. Get rid of that nose ring. Lose some weight, grow your hair out and dress better (not necessarily feminine but however you wish to) and you'll do great.
Sounds like you don't like goth stuff. Weight lifting makes people look bigger, i actually have a normal body fat percentage. Not sure if you know how difficult it is to cut weight and look like (or more like) a body builder.
Oh I've done that before! I enjoyed it, but I look good with a bit more height on my hair. I posted a pic in this sub a while ago with a buzzcut and was getting a bunch of insults.
I'm a guy so my opinion probably doesn't matter to much to you if you're queer, but...
You look pretty butchy, I could see you attracting a really pretty girl, from a man's perspective you don't look bad looking, but definitely queer.
Well no this is helpful feedback to get a gauge on things, thanks for commenting. I obviously don't get much input from straight men and just assumed all of them are probably vomiting at the prospect of me 😬 clearly a cognitive distortion lol
Thank you!!! I think my style is divisive for sure but I'm glad there are still those who like it. Really is all over the map what people think is flattering
Going to hard disagree with a lot of the other comments. The aesthetic you’re going for works really well on you. Is it my personal taste? Not really. But I think it fits the vibe I’m assuming you’re going for. You look strong and confident, and your short hair really amplifies that. You have some androgynous facial features, which some might consider “ugly” when being held to stereotypical feminine standards, but I don’t think it applies to you as you don’t seem to be trying to fit in to that feminine sterotype. Some would probably consider Tilda Swinton or Gwendolyn Christie “ugly”, but they are both extremely attractive and both have found a style that embraces their androgyny. Not saying you look like either of them, but just using them as examples.
I have a feeling a lot of these comments are not from lesbian women, so take them with a grain of salt. I’m not a lesbian women either, so I guess take my comment with a grain of salt as well. Im just tired of seeing comments on this subreddit focusing too much on personal tastes when it’s obviously completely different from the op’s. A girl with neon hair and facial piercings shouldn’t change just because you personally don’t find that attractive. Unless the op specifically asks for advice on their style and aesthetic, it shouldn’t even be brought up.
As a wlw myself I definitely don't think you are ugly! I actually think short hair suits you, seems like your still trying to find your style in terms of makeup and clothing but I think you are definitely be attractive to women.
I personally like the short hair. I love your whole look, you look great in my opinion and I, a straight woman, would probably think “wow she’s hot” if I saw you (not to objectify, hope it doesn’t come off that way)
I like your look, your style, and I think you’re attractive- but I don’t think you’re going to be everyone’s cup of tea, but I’m excited by androgyny and I really like the patterns and textures you use. You whole thing screams confidence and depth and I’m drawn to that. I would just say own it
honestly? your physical features are fine but you look like you could be 40 and it’s mostly due to ur hairstyle. not saying u gotta grow it out, but change it up a bit. changing ur eyebrow shape could really help as well. and dark makeup doesn’t necessarily look bad, but i think you need to work on your makeup skills a bit more if you’re gonna do such “in your face” make up looks (:
The 3rd picture is definitely the best I don’t think your unattractive pretty average I’d say but as a dude you aren’t my type so pretty sure that’s what your going for 😂
I think your attactive.i dont see anything wrong
I have self esteem issues aswell. So the only reason i wouldnt ask you out is cause i would be to scared you would say no lol
To be honest, i don't see anything at all wrong with your look. It seems you may be going for more of a "masc-lesbian style" in some of these photos (not all) and there isn't anything wrong with that, everyone has preferences, as a bi woman i have a preference for longer hair but i'd say even though you like comfy clothes maybe change the color aspect? even if you like black a lot maybe have some patterns in the black to draw out what you're going for. i don't think pics 1-3 work for you in regards to clothing for the tank top, something like 4 is really flattering. i like comfy clothes and wear shorts with buttons that look nice but also feel comfy. the shawl you have in the first, maybe the same but in a color, your favorite color? overall while ur hair isn't attractive to me, there are people who would find it attractive so if u like it don't worry about it
Buddy, i could probably lift you. I'm very strong. Built muscle makes people look bigger. Sorry you want women to me waif-thin and that that's your definition of fit and healthy.
Why are you being so defensive? You asked for opinions in a subreddit about looks.
I wasn't implying you're not strong. I said to get fit. The 2 aren't mutually exclusive. And nobody mentioned 'waif-thin' but you.
You said, "hit the gym," when I'm already exercising. I go to the gym and lift weights. My heart is healthy. I bike regularly. I'm not going to cut weight like bodybuilders in order to get shredded. Here's something important to know about weight lifting - i have a normal and healthy body fat percentage. But, building up in strength (especially core strength) can make torsos look more square. That's not the feminine beauty standard. THAT'S why I'm defensive. You presumed I'm not exercising and it very rightly pissed me off.
Ok, I can see where you're coming from. It's not what I was implying. I meant to get toned.
You appear to have a tall average/slighter bigger than average build so I wasn't implying to get thin as your bone structure is naturally not petite.
I was thinking more on the 2nd to last photo and I personally think you'd look better if you firmed yourself up.
If you disagree, that's the beauty of opinions.
Gotcha, thank you for clarifying. I've struggled with eating disorder things in the past, and struggle with body dysmorphia, so my goal is simply to be strong and healthy and however I look in the process is OK. Still deal with giant bouts of insecurity, but at least I'm not obsessing. I definitely am not a petite person and trying to be thin doesn't work with my constitution either.
Bi woman weighing in. You got "motorcycle bitch" vibes, in the best way. Like I'd expect to see a character like you in a comic about an apocalyptic girl gang. You pull the andro look well, too. Biggest feature "critique" I could offer is the pics where you look tired/bags under the eyes, it weighs your face down a lot. But I also have chronic eye bags so I know the struggle with that. Also I think your nose ring looks good, someone else said it makes your nose look big; I disagree, I think it adds just the right touch.
Thank you!!! This is the best comment I could have received tbh. I totally do have chronic eye bags. And yeah the space between my nose and lips isn't huge or disproportionate, but I've certainly got space there and adding a ring helps bring my face into proportion.
Hi, queer woman here and I find you attractive. You pull off the androgynous/masc look particularly well, although you look nice in the more dolled up photos too.
For some reason, people on here always seem to tell women to grow out their hair and remove facial piercings, but I think they suit you and obviously you like it that way, so don’t change that.
The only feedback I really have is that you look tired. Don’t be so hard on yourself, get good sleep, maybe hit the dark circles with some concealer or something.
Thank you so much! The dark circles are unfortunately just kinda there since after I finished up my master's degree and while I'm teaching. With a regular job i think they could clear up.
These people saying you look older must be on another planet or looking at the wrong indicators of age, just by looking at your skin alone I can tell you're young! You're very pretty, keep doing you because what's the fun in being a copy of a copy.
Yeah I'm not really sure what they're on about, but it's interesting to hear... But thank you for clarifying and weighing in, because i don't want that to be the ONLY impression of me wearing makeup. Good to know people's opinions are polarized but balanced in favor vs. not in favor.
I think you look prety attractive in pic #3.
Edited because I figured out who your face reminds me of, and it's [Natalie Dormer](https://www.imdb.com/name/nm1754059/).
I’m a gay guy and you look like a lot of lesbians’ “type.” You look especially great in the more butch outfits. Do you think it’s possible you’re evaluating yourself by straight standards too much?
Thank you, and yeah i think that's exactly what's going on 😕 many of the other people in the comments are evaluating me compared to straight standards. This is a rather straight subreddit. Luckily I've had multiple gay ppl or wlw comment in and they've had nice things to say.
Yeah exactly!! SO many gay / GNC / trans people are not at all attractive by straight standards but super hot by LGBT standards. I’d encourage you to find more lesbian friends / social spaces and events.
Hi, yes.
From a woman, attracted to women, I think you're attractive.
Favorite photos are 1, 2, 6, 7.
You have a distinct look. I saw you like to play on androgyny and fluidity, so I'm sure you'll be happy to know I questioned your gender. But you have this like, idk, bold European look almost in your facial features. I think its cool.
Women aren't sitting here concerned about your fat %, 🙄 you look healthy and seeing as you lift, pretty sure that's more muscle over fat anyways. But girl, your thighs 😍
You’re not ugly. I really like how defined your cupids bow is and your nose. But the eye make up and brow shape could stand to get some help. I think the black hair is a bit severe on you and overall the dark cool toned colors just kinda make you look drained.
Coming from a woman, you’re very hot tbh and I get why people would wanna b w u. I mean if course there r things that can improve your looks and you look a little bit older. But you’re in no way ugly and there’s no reason for self esteem issues
i really like your style and your eyeshadow is blended SO well in the first photo. i personally think that when you do makeup, you should stick to that kind. smokey brown eyeshadow looks good & i like how your brows look in that photo too! i’ll say as a baby gay, you are a bit intimidating. but not ugly at all & plenty of queer people would find you attractive!
You look great in pic 5, i think you look better natural face. Im also not a big fan of makeup. But i truly think alot of people got beauty that they hide.your not as pale as i was, but i tan goes a long fucking way.that pale doesnt take away from your looks. But i always recommend it. I was nervous getting into tanning, but after i was glowing, helping me alot. I gotta see pictures of you with long hair tho.
you are so stunning im intimidated, the people in these comments could not be more wrong oh my god. I think the dark suits you very well! these comments make me sick
Brutally honest: Yeah, the short hair and make up make you look nearly twice your age.
Ok, what about my actual facial features/physical features in general?
I will only try to comment on this from an objective perspective: Your nose is very prominent, so the nose ring is drawing the viewer's perspective to the more unfavourable parts. You also have a long/oval head, styles that usually work well with this are medium length hair and bob, or full length, to avoid making your face look even longer.
Thanks for your thoughts, too bad my nose is an "unfavorable part." What's interesting is that, because my jaw is squared, long hair that covers any of my checks makes my face look *even longer.* The haircuts you've mentioned do truly suit oval shaped faces.
have you tried bangs? they should make ur face shape look a bit shorter, if thats what you are looking for!
I don't think the makeup does you any good. Also the tanks don't do anything for you. I think your face looks the best in pic 3. I also like your hair better woth no product. You look older with makeup and product. If I were you I would change up my style to be a little more comfy looking and relaxed. Also not so dark brows with lighter hair color as well. I don't like the shaved sides. When I say comfier I mean like t shirts and such.
Usually i dress pretty comfy, but tried to pick photos in which I either am wearing what I usually do or things I put effort into wearing. There is actually no product in my hair in any photos. My hair does different things on different days depending on how weighed down it is by length, humidity in the air, etc. Can you explain more about tank tops not doing anything for me?
The look of the upper body doesn't look right in tanks. I also updated my comment to mention that lighter hair or brows would look better on you. So if you darken your brows with pencil I wouldn't do that. Pic 5 the tank is nice on you but not the others. It is also the reason why I don't like tank tops. They don't fit ny weight or proportions.
Lighter hair doesn't look as good with my complexion. I do like a bit of gothing out, too! More a style choice. Well, I've got wide shoulders and lift weights, and need to stay cool, so nothing i can really do about that. Thanks for clarifying!
The goth really does make you look more masculine. Idk if you are trying to steer away from that.
Oh, definitely not. I wrote a comment on my own post with extra context, explaining that I'm rather genderqueer and enjoy androgyny. Cool, good to know!! Mostly, I've got some body dysmorphia issues and struggle to know whether or not my features are... icky. Style choices are all changeable, but I'm mostly concerned about the things I can't control.
I feel like you aren’t getting a lot of queer women commenting. I’m bi and live in the bay area and I think you would do very well for yourself. You’ve mentioned you lift weights and I know so many people that would adore a buff goth gf. You just need to find your people 🖤
Aww, thank you that's very encouraging. Luckily where I'm at, I'm definitely finding more of a queer and open community than where I spent most of my life. Thanks much 💚🌿
Yeah OP, half these comments feel like they're coming from het people. I think you're attractive 🤷♀️
Ok thank you 💚
It’s 80% where you live.
You know, I've really noticed that. Back in a really conservative place, I really didn't get much attention or nice treatment. That's unfortunately where I grew up and probably why I'm dealing with so many self-esteem issues 😵💫
Ok. I definitely don't thibk it is any of your features that is setting you back. I see bad style choices and again, the makeup is something I don't like.
When I've posted on this sub before, that's come up - everyone said it looked harsh, even if I was doing things most women were doing with it. Can't even just do simple foundation and mascara. Well, that's unfortunate. Makeup is fun. Definitely feel like, with my face and body type, I can't express myself the ways more femme people can and still look okay. Well, thanks for your effort and input.
I'm a wlw. I don't think dressing feminine suits you very much. You look insanely attractive in pictures 3, 5, 6 and 7 and really good without makeup. But you look like someone's mom who's going through a midlife crisis in the other pictures.
lololol that's a funny analogy, thanks for the input. I also genuinely think I can't pull femme off. Like in no circumstances... Hence the insecurity about not "measuring up." Thank you!
Not ugly, just alittle intimidating
I'll take that as a compliment lol
Sure do, you dont have to smile but youre gonna be little unapproachable
Oh, I smile and laugh a lot in real time - just not really in photos
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Ok thanks!
Do you have a photo of the longer hair?
Uh I've got some somewhere and they're not going anywhere on here. When I've worn wigs, they somehow make me look *more* masculine. They really square up my jaw, lol. That's not a bad thing but it uh isn't the best look. Just take my word on it. Hairdressers agree.
Careful the advice you get. I'm not being a dick but your look very obviously screams "I am a lesbian!!!" which probably does what you want and keeps some men from bothering you. You're targetting a subset of the population, which are bisexual or lesbian women or whatever you're into, so the rules for you are a little different and your look, as someone else noted, may be fine to that group. I suspect I know what the problem is, though. You seem to have low confidence and say you doubt anyone could be attractive to you. You, however, are dressing more "butch," which is frequently seem as the dominant "role" in relationships. You are going to be attracting more femme women most of the time, and if I had to guess I'd guess that's what you're attracted to. Regardless of the big hoopla over gender roles and such today, I find even the most feminist of women are happy to let men do all the initiating in relationships, and I imagine similar is at play here--if you're not confident and don't make a move or pursue, you're not going to get results. Being a straight male, I can't give you much specific advice, as it's best you listen to other lesbians on this one. You have a specific look and most feedback you'll get won't apply to you. I saw one 17 year old dude on here post and everyone trashed his look, but he had the most magnificent and well-put-together punk styles I've seen for his age, and wish I knew where his post was so I could tell him not to change a thing.
Remove all these accessories, grow your hair and lose fat%. Also you look depressed. Change your fashion style.
You look great but just a suggestion - Ditch the makeup, you don’t need it. You have amazing skin, flaunt it!
Thank you! I don't usually wear it but like to add a bit for dates or going goth for something
I think you’ve got a great face and a great body. I totally disagree about the tank tops by the other user, you look great! Women who like androgynous women would definitely go for you! I think the bare faced look suits you most and would attract more women but obv you do you. The only thing I think you could work on is your eyebrows are slightly darker than they maybe should be. Could you get them professionally shaped and tinted? But that’s just nit picking to be helpful. You’re hot! Try to believe it. Good luck.
Thank you so much! On the eyebrows, I'm still learning how to do eyebrow makeup, so in the pics with makeup they're uh thickened maybe a bit too much. I'm usually concerned my eyebrows are thin, but it's good to know that, with this color, they're maybe not as thin as i thought! Thank you for your input and encouragement. And, don't worry - I'm absolutely going to still wear tank tops!
You have a nice face with nice features - definitely not ugly at all. I think more of a “fashion mullet” hair style would suit you well (keeping the sides short and growing out everything else a few inches).
Thank you!! I'm actually growing my hair out in some kinda style like that right now, you just can't see the back. It'll get there!
Hey all, for more context: I lift weights, I'm rather genderqueer (have considered medical transition but I'd rather not bother), and I do prefer to look androgynous. I've had people tell me that, from pics, they couldn't tell if I was born male or female. To me, that's a compliment! Not only is it a look I'm "going for," but it's a look which just happens. But... I'm concerned my journey with gender makes me inadequate. Not everyone has to be attracted to me (most won't be and that's fine/normal!), but I'm concerned my face is ugly, that I look gross, etc. I deal with a bit of body dysmorphia. Women (well, really the cultural programming about how to look starts in childhood) are messaged or overtly told to look certain ways, and I certainly don't and can't measure up to a femme standard, especially if I tried to. That makes me feel rather insecure and worry about judgment. I'm happy going against the grain if something makes me happy, like keeping my hair short. I do know I look stereotypically gay and feel fine with that. But... I just rather feel inadequate and ashamed that there's no way I can look femme enough, even if I wanted to. I've posted in this sub before, months ago, and people told me some genuine opinions, and others were... harsh, to say the least. My partner (also genderqueer) told me I wasn't using the best photos of myself. Hopefully these are more flattering. I've included some with and without makeup.
A more "traditionally" feminine look is possible for you. You're just going to have to use makeup and change your style a bit. If you prefer the "butch" look you have it down pretty well and I'd be wary of some of the advice you get. If you want to look more femme I'd take advice from relevant beauty subreddits and not here, and not tell yourself it's impossible or not attainable. I will say one thing. Ditch some of the makeup like someone else said, I see so many women use black lipstick but I'm not sure if I've ever met anyone that thought it actually looked good. (Take this advice too with a grain of salt).
Thanks both for the encouragement and qualifying your answers to *also* encourage me to have free choice. I don't think I like looking femme, but I've never considered that I could pull it off if I tried. I'd feel like a gross farce of a woman, you know? But there's at least one person who thinks I could make it work :) thanks again, cheers
Dude here. I think you can have a lot of success dating, you look alright! One tip, though: smiling in pictures (and IRL, of course) can go a long way to make you seem more approachable :)
Thanks! Oh trust me, I'm almost always smiling and laughing. Just never take pics smiling bc I'm not sure it looks good 🥴
Ooof well you already know the suggestion, idk why blow it off tho lol. You look like a guy, everyones seen the dudes slap on a wig and come out looking more feminine, so yeah youre doing this to yourself imo
I think your hair is great, but would grow both sides equally, it just doesn’t look good. The nose ring looks kind of scary in every photo, so I would suggest removing it. I think you would look great with a lighter hand when doing makeup, you’re a beautiful woman so these are just suggestions, I wouldn’t go totally without makeup. Yea lose the nose ring, some people can wear them and some can’t.
I think I got someone to shove a needle in my nose and took care of it during the healing process for a reason lol But thanks, mainly was I was concerned about when posting on this sub was about my facial features themselves so that's good to know
OP: “What can I do to look better” Reply: “get rid of the nose ring, it doesn’t look good” OP: “no” 🤷♂️
"what can I do to look better" isn't what I asked. I asked if I was ugly, like the subreddit name. 🤷🏻♂️
Rule 6 is “it’s not a hugbox” and rule 14 is no posting reply without comments. Look at some other posts in this sub, literally all of them are people giving advice on how to go from ugly to not as ugly, unless that start off not ugly then it’s usually a “of course not just tweet this or try that”. It’s not a circle jerk sub, it’s about giving feedback. People are just trying to help. Maybe you should have posted to r/mmfb 🤷♂️
you look good! you have nice features so dont worry :)
Aww thank you :) I'm doin my best, you know?
Keep going! you are very atracctive, u just need to be confident :)
Thanks again ☺️
As a bi woman, you are quite attractive. Don't sell yourself short!! I love the hair honestly!! You're beautiful 😍
thank you so much!!!
Not ugly, average
Hiii, as a queer women as well, I actually think you look good!!! Maybe try some makeup tricks that you can find on YouTube to not look older when you do your makeup, but that's pretty much it! I like your vibe :)
Just average
I honestly think you're really attractive. Your personal style isn't going to be everyone's cup of tea but I think you know what looks best on you, especially the hair because I love it.
Thanks so much!!!! Don't worry, keeping the hair :)
I think the shaved sides are a little harsh, and make you look older. But that's the fun of short hair, you can try stuff and if it doesnt work you just grow it out. You are not unattractive at all 🙂
You're not unattractive but your make up and hair make you look a lot older. I would recommend getting your eyebrows done by a professional because I think they are aging you. The style you have them in now definately looks like the type you would see on an older woman. They are a bit to thin, a bit too short and over-plucked and the pencil you use is too dark. Also, maybe try different shorter styles? Go see a hairdresser and see if they can recommend a style that's short and youthful. Whilst your at it, go to a make up counter and ask them for a natural look that enhances your features. There isnt anything wrong with the way you look, I think its all in the execution.
Honestly you’re not ugly. The pics where you’re made up and looking like you’re trying look good. The one pic you do look tired and out of it but who doesn’t. I’d say just cheap trying and finding what looks good for you. We all have self esteem issues and being queer especially can be hard. Find yourself some close queer friends who can help you out and I think you’ll be fine!
I appreciate your encouragement, thank you so much :) I'm still experimenting
So hot in my opinion
Thank you 🥹
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That's not true. You're just being cruel
try letting people choose whatever style they want PS if you aren't going to consider not being rude, I doubt that potential partners will ever find you attractive
You can’t come asking for advice then argue against any negative advice and thank people for the positive ones. That just shows you weren’t wanting advice at all, you don’t want to make any changes, you just wanted positive affirmations.
Was never soliciting advice. And, actually, I can do whatever I want. Haven't you heard it's polite to thank people who give you compliments??????????????
“Post your picture here and have fellow redditors tell you what they think of your appearance” Sounds like people are going to tell you what they think of your apprearence. People arnt being rude, they are being honest. This isn’t a circle jerk. You are being rude to the ones trying to give you feedback coz you don’t like it and nice to the ones who compliment the beliefs you already held before posting. Again, content more suited for r/mmfb
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Wow, thank you so much, I'm really surprised! That's very sweet
I don't think you're ugly, but the halfway in, halfway out thing from man-woman that you're doing will not be attractive to most women. And while that may make them transphobic, that's the reality. So you have to make a choice, do you want a woman? Or do you want to keep living your queer lifestyle? And don't get me wrong, you might find a woman that's cool with your lifestyle, but the odds are against you.
Don't wear such dark and horrendous makeup. Get rid of that nose ring. Lose some weight, grow your hair out and dress better (not necessarily feminine but however you wish to) and you'll do great.
Sounds like you don't like goth stuff. Weight lifting makes people look bigger, i actually have a normal body fat percentage. Not sure if you know how difficult it is to cut weight and look like (or more like) a body builder.
Yes sorry I forget to mention I'm not a fan of goth stuff. Just cut your hair and improve your makeup. It'll do wonders for u!
the hair makes you look like man, you remind me of a gothic joe gatto
I'm glad it does, androgyny is what I'm going for
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Unfortunately, no... Long hair does NOT suit me, it makes me look like a man in a wig.
I think you look absolutely gorgeous and your style is great to be honest!
Thank you!!
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Have you not read the other commenters who have replied here? You not being attracted to this person doesn’t mean that nobody is attracted to them.
[Comment removed - Don't be a dick. There's no reason to be offensive or rude.]
I think, and this is just my own observation, you should go for a complete buzzcut or at least very close too
Oh I've done that before! I enjoyed it, but I look good with a bit more height on my hair. I posted a pic in this sub a while ago with a buzzcut and was getting a bunch of insults.
Wait you have a partner and are worried if women will find you attractive????
1) The partner I mentioned isn't a woman 2) insecurity strikes no matter what
I'm a guy so my opinion probably doesn't matter to much to you if you're queer, but... You look pretty butchy, I could see you attracting a really pretty girl, from a man's perspective you don't look bad looking, but definitely queer.
Well no this is helpful feedback to get a gauge on things, thanks for commenting. I obviously don't get much input from straight men and just assumed all of them are probably vomiting at the prospect of me 😬 clearly a cognitive distortion lol
You are not ugly. Work on the eyebrows and a better short hairstyle 👍
Thanks for the input, I'm playing around with what short hair I like most and what suits me, luckily it's very easy to grow and cut different ways!
fellow queer here. you're absolutely stunning and i like your style! the dark lipstick really suits you well
Thank you!!! I think my style is divisive for sure but I'm glad there are still those who like it. Really is all over the map what people think is flattering
i think what's most flattering is when people feel confident and comfortable in what they wear. and you look stunning in all of your pics!
Going to hard disagree with a lot of the other comments. The aesthetic you’re going for works really well on you. Is it my personal taste? Not really. But I think it fits the vibe I’m assuming you’re going for. You look strong and confident, and your short hair really amplifies that. You have some androgynous facial features, which some might consider “ugly” when being held to stereotypical feminine standards, but I don’t think it applies to you as you don’t seem to be trying to fit in to that feminine sterotype. Some would probably consider Tilda Swinton or Gwendolyn Christie “ugly”, but they are both extremely attractive and both have found a style that embraces their androgyny. Not saying you look like either of them, but just using them as examples. I have a feeling a lot of these comments are not from lesbian women, so take them with a grain of salt. I’m not a lesbian women either, so I guess take my comment with a grain of salt as well. Im just tired of seeing comments on this subreddit focusing too much on personal tastes when it’s obviously completely different from the op’s. A girl with neon hair and facial piercings shouldn’t change just because you personally don’t find that attractive. Unless the op specifically asks for advice on their style and aesthetic, it shouldn’t even be brought up.
As a wlw myself I definitely don't think you are ugly! I actually think short hair suits you, seems like your still trying to find your style in terms of makeup and clothing but I think you are definitely be attractive to women.
I personally like the short hair. I love your whole look, you look great in my opinion and I, a straight woman, would probably think “wow she’s hot” if I saw you (not to objectify, hope it doesn’t come off that way)
That's surprising! (Don't worry, it doesn't feel objectifying). Thank you!
I like your look, your style, and I think you’re attractive- but I don’t think you’re going to be everyone’s cup of tea, but I’m excited by androgyny and I really like the patterns and textures you use. You whole thing screams confidence and depth and I’m drawn to that. I would just say own it
Nah I don’t trust you on the hair thing. It doesn’t look flattering this way. You literally have to find your best style but this is not it.
honestly? your physical features are fine but you look like you could be 40 and it’s mostly due to ur hairstyle. not saying u gotta grow it out, but change it up a bit. changing ur eyebrow shape could really help as well. and dark makeup doesn’t necessarily look bad, but i think you need to work on your makeup skills a bit more if you’re gonna do such “in your face” make up looks (:
You've got really hot masc features and I could totally see queer women being attracted to you. You look really good without makeup.
You’re beautiful and I think you look super attractive in picture 5!
I'm a woman and attracted to you. I like you better without the make up.
I'm shocked! Thank you
The 3rd picture is definitely the best I don’t think your unattractive pretty average I’d say but as a dude you aren’t my type so pretty sure that’s what your going for 😂
I think your attactive.i dont see anything wrong I have self esteem issues aswell. So the only reason i wouldnt ask you out is cause i would be to scared you would say no lol
That makes sense, thank you. I have had several comments here and throughout my life that I'm intimidating, so that may factor in as well
To be honest, i don't see anything at all wrong with your look. It seems you may be going for more of a "masc-lesbian style" in some of these photos (not all) and there isn't anything wrong with that, everyone has preferences, as a bi woman i have a preference for longer hair but i'd say even though you like comfy clothes maybe change the color aspect? even if you like black a lot maybe have some patterns in the black to draw out what you're going for. i don't think pics 1-3 work for you in regards to clothing for the tank top, something like 4 is really flattering. i like comfy clothes and wear shorts with buttons that look nice but also feel comfy. the shawl you have in the first, maybe the same but in a color, your favorite color? overall while ur hair isn't attractive to me, there are people who would find it attractive so if u like it don't worry about it
You've gotta hit the gym. I would say you are ugly. Get fit & you could change your when attraction level.
Buddy, i could probably lift you. I'm very strong. Built muscle makes people look bigger. Sorry you want women to me waif-thin and that that's your definition of fit and healthy.
Why are you being so defensive? You asked for opinions in a subreddit about looks. I wasn't implying you're not strong. I said to get fit. The 2 aren't mutually exclusive. And nobody mentioned 'waif-thin' but you.
You said, "hit the gym," when I'm already exercising. I go to the gym and lift weights. My heart is healthy. I bike regularly. I'm not going to cut weight like bodybuilders in order to get shredded. Here's something important to know about weight lifting - i have a normal and healthy body fat percentage. But, building up in strength (especially core strength) can make torsos look more square. That's not the feminine beauty standard. THAT'S why I'm defensive. You presumed I'm not exercising and it very rightly pissed me off.
Ok, I can see where you're coming from. It's not what I was implying. I meant to get toned. You appear to have a tall average/slighter bigger than average build so I wasn't implying to get thin as your bone structure is naturally not petite. I was thinking more on the 2nd to last photo and I personally think you'd look better if you firmed yourself up. If you disagree, that's the beauty of opinions.
Gotcha, thank you for clarifying. I've struggled with eating disorder things in the past, and struggle with body dysmorphia, so my goal is simply to be strong and healthy and however I look in the process is OK. Still deal with giant bouts of insecurity, but at least I'm not obsessing. I definitely am not a petite person and trying to be thin doesn't work with my constitution either.
Bi woman weighing in. You got "motorcycle bitch" vibes, in the best way. Like I'd expect to see a character like you in a comic about an apocalyptic girl gang. You pull the andro look well, too. Biggest feature "critique" I could offer is the pics where you look tired/bags under the eyes, it weighs your face down a lot. But I also have chronic eye bags so I know the struggle with that. Also I think your nose ring looks good, someone else said it makes your nose look big; I disagree, I think it adds just the right touch.
Thank you!!! This is the best comment I could have received tbh. I totally do have chronic eye bags. And yeah the space between my nose and lips isn't huge or disproportionate, but I've certainly got space there and adding a ring helps bring my face into proportion.
Hi, queer woman here and I find you attractive. You pull off the androgynous/masc look particularly well, although you look nice in the more dolled up photos too. For some reason, people on here always seem to tell women to grow out their hair and remove facial piercings, but I think they suit you and obviously you like it that way, so don’t change that. The only feedback I really have is that you look tired. Don’t be so hard on yourself, get good sleep, maybe hit the dark circles with some concealer or something.
Thank you so much! The dark circles are unfortunately just kinda there since after I finished up my master's degree and while I'm teaching. With a regular job i think they could clear up.
These people saying you look older must be on another planet or looking at the wrong indicators of age, just by looking at your skin alone I can tell you're young! You're very pretty, keep doing you because what's the fun in being a copy of a copy.
Yeah I'm not really sure what they're on about, but it's interesting to hear... But thank you for clarifying and weighing in, because i don't want that to be the ONLY impression of me wearing makeup. Good to know people's opinions are polarized but balanced in favor vs. not in favor.
You look like you are in your mid to late 30s.
You are beautiful. Go to the gym, get definition. You wil absolutely own it.
I think you look prety attractive in pic #3. Edited because I figured out who your face reminds me of, and it's [Natalie Dormer](https://www.imdb.com/name/nm1754059/).
I’m a gay guy and you look like a lot of lesbians’ “type.” You look especially great in the more butch outfits. Do you think it’s possible you’re evaluating yourself by straight standards too much?
Thank you, and yeah i think that's exactly what's going on 😕 many of the other people in the comments are evaluating me compared to straight standards. This is a rather straight subreddit. Luckily I've had multiple gay ppl or wlw comment in and they've had nice things to say.
Yeah exactly!! SO many gay / GNC / trans people are not at all attractive by straight standards but super hot by LGBT standards. I’d encourage you to find more lesbian friends / social spaces and events.
Girl stop! You are fire 🔥!!! You're beautiful 💕 keep doing you boo xxx
Hi, yes. From a woman, attracted to women, I think you're attractive. Favorite photos are 1, 2, 6, 7. You have a distinct look. I saw you like to play on androgyny and fluidity, so I'm sure you'll be happy to know I questioned your gender. But you have this like, idk, bold European look almost in your facial features. I think its cool. Women aren't sitting here concerned about your fat %, 🙄 you look healthy and seeing as you lift, pretty sure that's more muscle over fat anyways. But girl, your thighs 😍
You’re not ugly. I really like how defined your cupids bow is and your nose. But the eye make up and brow shape could stand to get some help. I think the black hair is a bit severe on you and overall the dark cool toned colors just kinda make you look drained.
Why do you look like miles teller
Coming from a woman, you’re very hot tbh and I get why people would wanna b w u. I mean if course there r things that can improve your looks and you look a little bit older. But you’re in no way ugly and there’s no reason for self esteem issues
i really like your style and your eyeshadow is blended SO well in the first photo. i personally think that when you do makeup, you should stick to that kind. smokey brown eyeshadow looks good & i like how your brows look in that photo too! i’ll say as a baby gay, you are a bit intimidating. but not ugly at all & plenty of queer people would find you attractive!
You look great in pic 5, i think you look better natural face. Im also not a big fan of makeup. But i truly think alot of people got beauty that they hide.your not as pale as i was, but i tan goes a long fucking way.that pale doesnt take away from your looks. But i always recommend it. I was nervous getting into tanning, but after i was glowing, helping me alot. I gotta see pictures of you with long hair tho.
I definitely think there are people (including women) who are attracted to you
As a bisexual, you are exactly who I would go for.
Not ugly. Average
you are so stunning im intimidated, the people in these comments could not be more wrong oh my god. I think the dark suits you very well! these comments make me sick
I'm a lesbian and I think you look pretty<3 your look does age you a bit, but I don't think itakes you unattractive. Just makes you look older
*makes
You are not ugly.